Finding Our Daughter (part 2)

Need Prayers...feeling discouraged

2012-01-28T16:39:00.001-05:00

Would you all do Alyssa, Piper and their future forever family (prayerfully us) and pray for some much needed documents? We need 8 Child Abuse and Neglect state registries checked in order to complete our homestudy. We have received 6. All requests were sent over a month ago. We have heard absolutely nothing from Georgia. New York sent a response about 2 weeks ago but it totally contradicted itself, stating they needed more information AND the check was being processed. No one answers their published phone number or returns calls (both us and our agency have left messages), so I overnighted everything back to them with a cover letter asking for further clarification....still no response.I've been extremely patient up until now. Now I'm worried. What if in 2 weeks NY replies that it's still not right? What if we are waiting on Georgia and they never received our initial request? ( I will be calling them Monday to see what I can find out, if anything). Meanwhile, we are stuck! These last 2 documents are needed to complete our homestudy, which otherwise is done. Then our homestudy needs to be approved by DSS because it's a SC requirement. Once it is approved THEN we can submit our I800a to USCIS only to wait another 2-3 months for approval. It's AFTER this approval that we can submit our dossier to Bulgaria. The whole process is being held up because of these 2 background checks. And of course, I know there is nothing to be found.I'm just feeling so discouraged. I thought we'd have them all by now. My heart is aching for our daughters but our hands are tied until we have these documents. Not a good feeling.So will you guys PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray with me that they will both come on Monday? I keep praying each day and end up disappointed each time I go to the mailbox. Please pray our babies home!

Serial Adopter T-Shirts!

2012-01-28T07:40:00.001-05:00

Okay, our order has been placed for some really cool t-shirts. The sales from these shirts will benefit 4 families ( (including ours) currently adopting. Soon you will be able to read about each family and see a picture of the child they are trying to adopt. We have many fundraisers planned and decided we can accomplish more if we combine our efforts. And why not have more people truly committed to covering these fundraisers in prayer? Please click on the SERIAL ADOPTER tab above or the SERIAL ADOPTER icon to the right to see the t-shirts! We think they're pretty cool!Also, if you would like to have a SERIAL ADOPTER icon on your blog, please let me know. It be great if those of us who are, want to be and those who support serial adopting, can be linked together. Hi, my name is Michelle and I'm proud to be a Serial Adopter! :) No go get yourself a shirt! lol

This is a Test ;)

2012-01-27T13:51:00.006-05:00

Serial Adopter.

2012-01-26T22:08:00.003-05:00

Here's a chance for us to win $500 towards Alyssa/Abbie and Piper's adoption.

Follow this link and vote for:
"Serial Adopter. Blessed with multiple life sentences."
http://www.threadless.com/slogans/2424080/Serial_Adopter_Blessed_with_multiple_life_sentences

With enough interest, we will make t-shirts and bumper stickers to fundraise soon!!

We have one week to get as many votes as possible. PLEASE VOTE AND PASS THIS ON!

A Must See!

2012-01-24T21:19:00.002-05:00

Check out No Greater Joy Mom's fundraiser for 18 adoptive families in immediate need of funds.

http://www.nogreaterjoymom.com/2012/01/almost-1000-up-for-grabs.html#dsq-form-area

Give a little (or not so little) and help a lot! Let's join in our efforts to bring these kiddos home!

I'm trusting God to multiply what we have given and to bless us in return...I took it from our own adoption money. No worries! God is awesome and oh so faithful; He's got this! :)

I chose to contribute to this precious child's homecoming. I chose him because he will soon be transferred to an institution and the family's financial need is great, but not impossible for God. Our sweet Piper has already been transferred...the thought of it is heart wrenching.
Please do what you can! Choose the family or child that God places a burden on your heart for.

God bless!

Grab This!

Overjoyed!

2012-01-24T16:27:00.003-05:00

When I think about bringing home these two precious girls, my heart just swells with joy!

Happy Tears!!!

2012-01-23T13:21:00.002-05:00

I am SO excited, I have happy tears!!!

If you've been following along on our Blog, this should come as no surprise. If you haven't, you may be surprised. lol In any case, Dan and I are in agreement to move forward and adopt ANOTHER little girl with Down syndrome in addition to Alyssa!!!

I shared how I believed the Lord was preparing my heart because He has another child in EE with Alyssa for us to adopt. I couldn't help but continue to be in prayer and on the look out for what might be our daughter. Then her picture was posted. I didn't feel an immediate "that's her". I thought about how cute she is and how she resembles a younger Nadia. I went to bed that night praying once again that God would clearly reveal to me the child that He chose for us, if this was her, I'd know. And if it wasn't, I'd know that too. And if there isn't another, my heart would be changed.

I woke the next morning with a heavy burden on my heart for her that only grew greater as the day went on. I still hadn't received her profile so I had to wait to be sure.

Her profile came and she sounded perfect for our family. Honestly, if she was described as hyper, I'd really question if this was the Lord. lol Sorry, but Marni is an "on the go" child and I'm not sure that I'd willingly sign up for another. I'm young but I get tired too. ;)

The burden on my heart for her specifically grew greater but what would Dan say.

He's not a fan of me airing our business so I'll shorten this a bit and say that we operate differently (don't most all married couples?). The process for him was (and usually is) very different. So I continued to pray for discernment and was left waiting on the Lord. Boy, is THAT ever so difficult for me. But today, today we are in agreement to bring this baby girl home. I am ECSTATIC!!

Who is she? She is the beautiful angel recently added to Reeces Rainbow known as "Piper". We will continue to call her Piper on our blog as it seems we will not be changing her real name and due to legality issues, we cannot share it publicly.

http://reecesrainbow.org/31613/piper-19-4

Looking forward to adding her picture to our blog and FSP page.

We appreciate your continued prayers for God to allow us and provide for us to bring our precious girls home!

His Encouragement

2012-01-21T07:30:00.002-05:00

I have to publicly say "thank you" to the many people who have commented, emailed, telephoned and sent messages via Facebook who have, possibly unknowingly, encouraged me through this journey...this life journey.

I haven't doubted these adoptions, those completed or those on my heart. I feel very confident as to where God has called me and excited about where He will continue to take me. Not long ago Dan asked me something like, "10 years ago when you were zooming around in your little 2-seater MR2 [just you and Anthony], did you ever imagine that you'd be driving a 12-passenger van and have 8 kids?" Of course he knows the answer to that. No way!!

10 years ago I didn't know Jesus. 10 years ago I did things in my own strength. 10 years ago my motto was, "Where there's a (my) will, there's a way!" I had no clue who Jesus was and what He could do with little ole' me.

Those encouraging messages I receive from my blog readers, friends and acquaintances, continually point to Christ, and I LOVE THAT! When you all tell me that you are inspired by our family and our lives, it only reconfirms how AWESOME our God is. I may be a little crazy (lol) and I'm no genius but I'm well aware of the fact that THIS is ALL Him! I saw what my life was like before accepting Christ. I saw who I was. I saw my lack of calling and remember that wishful thinking that I could do and be something more. My memories have not faded so much so that I have forgotten. So when you write me and tell me that you are inspired, moved or encouraged, I KNOW that you are not looking at me but Christ in me.

When I wrote what I did yesterday, it wasn't intended to be a blog post. I wrote it, feeling completely led by the Lord. I felt so peaceful and my heart overflowing with love and tenderness. It's hard to explain because as I try to find the words to describe the place that it came from in me, it just sounds corny. Again, I just felt led. The responses I received, are more confirmation for me that you (my readers) felt that to. God is so amazing how He knows when we need encouragement and He sends it. You may have been encouraged by what was posted but in return, God worked through you to encourage me right back. Isn't that cool?

I don't necessarily feel like an inspiring person. I know I'm far from perfect. I know there are times when I react rather than respond...more times than I care to admit. I know I get irritable, cranky, tired and frustrated, but I have to assume that you all know that too....because I'm human, just like you. And yet, God uses us all.

I know this post is a bit of me just rambling, not really getting to a particular destination, but I guess I just wanted to point to Jesus and say "thank you". I also want to point to you and say "thank you...for allowing His light to shine through you too."

Prayers For Discernment

2012-01-20T07:31:00.002-05:00

There isn't too much I can say to "plead my case" for "XOXO" (another little girl with Ds), because from a worldview, it's crazy.

From a worldview, we need to consider all of the added stressors, needs, inconveniences.

We need to worry about time, money, comfort and consider a real lifetime of this and that.

From a worldview on things, we shouldn't adopt Alyssa or "Flower".

From a worldview, we should have never adopted Yana (she was nearly 10!); adopting Nadia was insane and stupid; adopting Olya and Ivan was really pushing it, two more kids and one a teenage boy?! And then Marni, we must have dumber than dumb to think that adopting her would be a good idea. (all this BEFORE we adopted them, of course)

But we haven't done any of these things because WE wanted to, even if we thought we did. We did it because God put it in our hearts to and we trusted Him. He shutdown adoptions of children that weren't meant to be ours ("Faith", "Grace", the other sibling group, the two best friend teen boys!) And with each of those paths, God led us to the children HE chose for us. We didn't force anything to happen or even try to because we are always in prayer about doing His will and wanting the children HE chose for us.

I truly believe God showed me, in my heart, that there would be another child for us in the country Alyssa is in. I thought "No stinkin' way!! Insanity!!"
But He changed my heart to "okay God, if it's your will, I will trust you".

Then I learned about "XOXO" and prayed about it. The next day (yesterday) a feeling of excitement and certainty (though we can never be 100% sure until it's a done deal) that WE are suppose to adopt her. That SHE is our daughter too. Now my heart yearns for her...I believe because she is suppposed to be our daughter.

I've been praying that if it is His will for us to adopt her, He would touch Dan's heart, help to calm any fears. If it is not, that He would take this desire from me, change my heart. I almost wanted to wake up this morning feeling different, but I don't. I am grieving actually because I hoped last night would go differently.

Another child sounds over the top, but they all sounded the same way. When I think about how much I love our littles and how stinkin' blessed we are, I can't help but feel "YES, LORD! Yes, I will accept another blessing from you! Thank you for choosing us!!" That's truly how I feel.

I know He will provide and work out all of the details of our lives whether we have no children, 1 child, 9,10, 11 or 20!

Please, please, please pray with us for discernment. I know Dan is busy with work and tired but we don't need thought, we need prayer.

I am sitting at the edge of my seat praying too, waiting for Dan to hear from the Lord, for Him to touch his heart....or mine.

A $5 Donation!

2012-01-18T11:32:00.002-05:00

To some, a $5 donation might seem like little to celebrate, especially when other larger donations have come in but let me explain why I do!

I celebrate that $5 donation because someone had the option to give what they may have felt to be little or nothing. Instead of giving nothing, they gave! God can and WILL use that $5. Not only will He use it to bring Alyssa home, He will use it by multiplying it and blessing the one who gave with a joyful heart!

I don't know who has been giving or how much. I only know that there are times when I get on my blog and see a change in the donation number. I've seen it change by $10, $250, $50, $5 and $35. I do not know if those were the increments given or if multiple amounts were given and entered at the same time. And it really doesn't matter, except that with EACH AND EVERY dollar added, we are blessed and encouraged.

So thank you! Thank you to everyone who has and will contribute. I am so very encouraged and excited to see what the Lord is doing and will do. I pray that each one of you is encouraged and blessed through this process as well. I cannot thank you enough! Praise Jesus for His faithfulness to His calling!!

Our Orphan Ministry

2012-01-17T20:31:00.003-05:00

In my previous post I mentioned our church's orphan ministry in which I am very involved in. If you are interested, you can check out a video we quickly put together with Yana, Olya and Ivan posted on our website about hosting. I'd put the video here if I new how to embed it without having to upload it myself (expensive Verizon MiFi access with limited data....unless we want to pay over usage charges, boo!) but ...I don't ;)

Anyway, check it out http://www.horizoncharlotte.org/#/ministries/orphan-ministry

School, School, School

2012-01-17T19:47:00.004-05:00

I'm sure I must have mentioned it on here at some point, but for the past 4 years we were a homeschooling family.

I started homeschooling Yana and Anthony just about one year after Yana came home. When Nadia came home in 2008, I did not intend to enroll her in public school but did so just a few short weeks after she came home; Nadia attended our public special needs preschool class for a year and a half, while I homeschooled Yana and Anthony. It worked out well for her. She had an AMAZING teacher whom we've come to love (Ms. Patti) and I believe it really helped Nadia to adjust better to her new home and family.

When Olya and Ivan came home in 2009, they came right into our homeschool. For the 2010-2011 school year, I had Nadia, Olya, Yana, Anthony AND Ivan home with me. So when Marni came home in the fall of 2010, of course I chose to keep her home with us as well.

I saw us as forever homeschoolers...until Ivan was enrolled in 9th grade in our public high school for the second semester. Having had some authority issues with him at home in the area of schooling, Dan put his foot down and said that Ivan would no longer be allowed to cause the disruption to our homeschool day...and off he went to high school.

I really was not comfortable with this but knew we had to do it...and it turned out, not so bad. It was a much better learning environment for him, being that he didn't question everything the teacher was doing. ;) Still, I saw the rest of us as homeschoolers.

I enjoyed homeschooling. I LOVED our homeschool group. The teens were involved in Student Council, and all of the kids at home participated in the co-op. The homeschool families we spent time with in these groups were (ARE) wonderful. My kids had wonderful friends & experiences, and we were able to spend so much time together.

However, I think having Marni at home with us really added to any existing stress. She is a lot of work, but boy, has she come a loooooong long way from where she was a year ago. I just began getting frustrated enough with the whole homeschooling thing that I found myself on my knees crying out to the Lord asking if this is really what we are supposed to be doing. I knew for sure He had called me to homeschool 4 years before when we began, but were we supposed to continue this way.

Long story short, the Lord led us down another path for the new school year. So this school year (2011-2012) EVERY ONE OF MY KIDS STILL IN OUR HOME is attending public school. And so far, aside from some crazy drama we endured at the charter school in August and September (none of my kids attend that school any longer), it's really been a positive experience for us. I absolutely believe that I am no longer called to homeschool my kids at this point in our lives.

By the first Friday I had my kids off to school, I found 3 hours of "nothing time". I was caught up on the laundry, the bills, the cleaning and appointments. It was the strangest and oddest feeling. I didn't like it. It then occurred to me that I have never sent my kids off to school and not had a job! Okay, I take that back....there was one year when Anthony was in 1st grade when we lived in Georgia, and I didn't work. Aside from that year, I always had a job, even in Okinawa when Anthony was in preschool. I just knew this "nothing time" would never sit well with me.

When I told Dan, he told me that if I get a job, I should be doing something that I want to do, "don't just get a job waiting tables to get a job."

As God would have it, our orphan ministry would need me in just moments from the time we spoke. (if I haven't mentioned it before, I am on the Board of Directors for our orphan ministry in our church). There was an adoption that was about to be disrupted and the young girl would need to be rehomed immediately. In discussion and preparation to pick up this young lady (who I've come to absolutely love and adore...AND she has been adopted by another family I absolutely love), I shared my hearts desire to better educate families pre-adoption and better support families post-adoption.

I do a lot of pre- and currently adopting help as far as the actual process, and I do a bit of post adoption support but I am not licensed and therefore, can only offer so much. I brought up the idea of going to school to get a degree. By Monday morning, I was enrolled in our local community college! It would be my first college experience.

So last semester I took 2 classes. I wanted to start off slow to see if I could even handle school while still caring for my family and maintaining an active roll in orphan ministry. Well, somehow I did it and finished the semester with a 4.0!

This semester I am attempting 3 classes. Today was our second day back to school for the new semester. I think I should be alright but of course, I am nervous. Unlike high school, I actually want A's on everything lol It's funny how time has changed me.

My desire and goal is to get a BS in Social Work, then continue on for a Masters in Psychology. It's going to take a long time to get there, but one semester at a time and I just might make it. I'm excited about what God is doing in my life, never in a million years did I ever see any of this coming. How great is He!

Donations!

2012-01-16T23:37:00.002-05:00

Wow! I just made a post to our blog and was caught by surprise when I noticed that we received another donation towards Alyssa's adoption! THANK YOU!!!

I don't know who, or how many people have donated but I know it was more than one because this morning (or was that last night?) I noticed we were finally off the $0 mark.

I am finding it so hard to put words together here to express my gratitude. Just please know that we are SO incredibly grateful and believe that God will multiply your offering. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Go Team Amelia!

2012-01-16T23:26:00.002-05:00

It is times like this that I just couldn't be more proud to be part of the special needs parenting community! Things are moving forward, possibly, for little Amelia because of the outpour of support....mainly from other parents of special needs children, I'm sure. I hope the support continues and big changes happen quick.

Here's one of a few news articles I've come across that tells of Team Amelia's support:
http://m.nbcphiladelphia.com/nbcphilly/pm_108054/contentdetail.htm?contentguid=790VDIbp

If you have not signed the petitions or shared Amelia's story yet, please do it now! Let's not slow down and phase out in our support for Amelia and every other "mentally retarded" persons in need of equal and proper medical care. (read my post "Be Outraged!" for links)

BE OUTRAGED!!!

2012-01-14T09:12:00.002-05:00

Then stand up and fight!

Did you read about little 3 yr old Amelia being denied a kidney transplant and without it she will not survive?!

Read it, be outraged, let's change this!!
http://www.wolfhirschhorn.org/2012/01/amelia/brick-walls/

Next SIGN the TWO PETITIONS NOW and PASS IT ON!

One petition is for Amelia to get her transplant at CHOP http://www.change.org/petitions/childrens-hospital-of-philadelphia-allow-the-kidney-transplant-amelia-needs-to-survive

The other, to change transplant policies nationwide to include persons with intellectual disabilities to qualify for organ transplants. http://www.change.org/petitions/saving-lives-includes-the-lives-of-those-with-disabilities

My daughter's life has value, as does Amelia's and everyone else living with mental retardation! In 2012 people should know better than to consider people disposable. HELP MAKE THE CHANGE! Sign the petitions and SHARE this post on your blog, on your Facebook page....SHARE IT WITH EVERYONE!!

Not Convinced

2012-01-13T20:25:00.002-05:00

I know it sounds crazy. It even sounds a little bit crazy to me but the truth is, I'm not convinced that we won't end up adopting 2 children when we adopt Alyssa. I just have this unexplainable feeling that another little girl's profile is going to cross our path and that other unexplainable feelingthat, "she is our daughter too!" will hit me. Dan says he doesn't believe it but that's okay, he's usually a step behind me in this stuff :) However, he has always gotten on board quickly when it was God leading. God touches his heart, not me.

There was this adorable little girl on Reece's Rainbow that I've been interested in but part of me kept thinking she might need a little more time and attention than what we could give...in addition to Dan saying, "she's cute...but she's not our daughter." I am SO VERY happy that another family has stepped up to pursue her and is over the top excited about it. I can't help but wonder if this isn't God preparing my heart for another AND showing me that it's not about me caring about a specific child that I see but will be about MY child, the one He has chosen for us.

Of course, I can't be certain that there is another one waiting for us over there. But as I've said to Dan, don't be surprised if we find out there this.

And does this sound crazy to me? Absolutely! For one, we don't even have the money yet for the one we are headed for. 2, if we can get "Flower" from Ukraine (in addition to adopting Alyssa from the other EE country), that will already make a total of 10 kids (although 2 are already young adults out on their own). But I know all things are possible with God. And I look it like this, other than when we adopted Olya and Ivan, we adopted one at a time. I believe God planned it that way for many reasons but He COULD have called us to adopt them all at once or multiple kids at the same time...those same kids He chose to be our children from before we were born. So couldn't He plan for multiple kids for this adoption, rather than having us go back later (not that we are "planning" to at this point)?

The thing is, I don't necessarily WANT to adopt multiple kids. I mean, I'm open to it and I trust God but it's not that I have a particularly number of kids that I desire to adopt now, and I'm done guessing or saying, "we're done!" The truth is, we are not done until He says we are done. And quite obviously, we're not done. ;)

The Magic of Make-up

2012-01-12T20:29:00.003-05:00

Nadia LOVES the Tangled vanity she received for her birthday. She also got some make-up brushes and make-up (for play, of course). I thought it was just so sweet how she was putting make-up on Marni the other day.

Nadia would say, "Now just stay still, Marni. Don't move." "It's going to feel soft." "It's okay, I'll be gentle." She was just talking to her so sweetly and they did beautifully getting along. I just love the times when they really connect and get along.

Large Families, How Do You Do It?

2012-01-10T08:54:00.007-05:00

Calling all large families! I want to know, HOW DO YOU DO IT?

I don't mean managing, I think we do pretty well...though I often feel like a small family by comparison to some of you lol And I don't necessarily mean, how do you afford it, because I believe when God has called us to care for so many, He provides in various ways. What I want to know is, how do you stretch your dollar, or cut corners?

While I believe God provides and asks us to be faithful, I also believe He stretches our dollar greater when we are good stewards with what He has given us.

Each time we begin an adoption, I try to find ways to cut costs. While my initial thinking is about how to save money to put towards the adoption, truthfully, the more ways we can find to decrease our living expenses the more money we will have available for our new addition(s) and perhaps God will continue to call us and bless us with more further down the road.

As I've experienced through each adoption, every dollar makes a difference! So lowering an expense by $5 or $10 will add up! Especially when you eventually find several areas to do that, even if it is not right away.

I am asking you to please, please, please share your savvy savings secrets in the comments section of this post. Perhaps if I get enough responses I can compile the list into one post to share with others.

Here are some things we do to save a buck!

- No paper towels (drives my mother crazy lol) Instead of spending money on paper towels, we use rags made from old t-shirts or wash clothes.

- Use vinegar and water to clean (I've admittedly have slacked on this and started a love affair with Greased Lightning but back to vinegar and water we go)

- "Basic" television plan. Out here in the boonies (lol) cable is not an option, only satellite tv. We had turned off DirecTV a while back and just had Netflix (dvds no streaming) for a while. Eventually we got Dish Network (in between adoptions at the time) but when I tried to cancel our service, I learned of an $18 option and jumped on that. We no longer have a subscription with Netflix or Blockbuster.

-Family Share Plan for a "house" cell phone for long distance calls instead of using the landline. We pay $10/month for the extra cell phone. The kids use it to call out (seems that EVERYWHERE is considered long distance from here) and Dan & I have our own. The kids also take the cell with them if they are staying after school or something. We still have a landline because I've never been without one and am chicken but that is going to be canceled today. We will save $54/mo. doing that + another $10/month for the long distance service I was paying for but will add one more cell phone (for $10/mo) to our plan for a cell phone that will always stay in the house --I never want the kids home without a phone.

EDITED: Just got off the phone with Verizon. I have chosen to get the Home Phone Connect. They explained it to me as similiar to a router. We can plug up to 2 home phone devices into it. Because we have the cordless phones that run off of one base, we would only plug the base into it and can still use the 3 other phones that run off of it throughout the house. This device does use cell towers. It is also mobile, we can take it with us wherever...I guess we might if we went on vacation...I don't know. And we can keep our home phone number.

I had 2 options, one was to add it to our family share plan for $9.99 but we'd be sharing the minutes. Or pay a seperate $19.99 and have unlimited minutes, no roaming charges. I chose the $19.99 plan because I could see us possibly needing to increase our shared minutes plan and the $19.99 plan would be better. They waived the equipment fee but will charge us a one time $35 activatiion fee.

Hopefully this will be worth the switch and should save us $45/month!

PS mentiion me if you do the same, I will get a $25 credit on my bill ;)

- Adjust the thermostat. We don't know quite yet what the savings will be but it's time to stretch our comfort zone. Admittedly, we've been pretty spoiled with keeping our home at about 74 in the winter and 76 in summer. I know "gasp"! We have now dropped it to 68 and 65 at night. Those temps may be adjusted further depending on our bill next month.

- "snack money" for my teens. We call it "snack money" but it has just really turned into allowance, which was not my initial intention but does not seem to be an issue...as a matter of fact it has worked out well. My teens were costing me a fortune with their snacking. So I decided to let them know that I will feed them meals but they had to budget their own snack food each month with the $25 I give them. (that's not to say that they don't eat other food in our house between meals but real snack food or pigging out between meals is for them to figure out). $25 is actually a decent amount of money for snack food if they budget right and shop at Aldi, Bargain City or Walmart. With 4 teens, that costs me $100 a month but trust me, before it was costing me a lot more as anything that went into the pantry was gone in a second and I had to play food monitor (who ate how much, who got none, blah blah blah blah). So they have their own bins in the pantry where they keep their stash. Amazingly, no one has quite the obsession with snacks anymore and often prefer to spend their money on other things or save up for expensive things.

-Major grocery shopping at Aldis. If I shop weekly, I can probably feed our household of 8 for $125-$150 a week. I have tried and tried to get with the couponing program but it just isn't happening. I have no time or focus for that, I really wish I did. No, I don't have an hour a week I can commit to...not at this point in my life, anyway.

- Drink water. Water is the best thing for us to be drinking. Soda is garbage. Juice and milk can get expensive if 8 people are chugging it. So for the most part, we drink water (or I've been drinking hot tea like crazy lately). We always have milk in the house and the kids can drink it (I am lactose intolerant and don't recall the last time I've seen Dan drink a glass of milk) but they are not allowed to pig out on it. Juice, we don't keep in the house regularly but we do buy it here and there. It's not a rare thing, but it's not a staple either. Soda, Dan buys Mountain Dew for himself, the kids can use their own money to buy it if they want it (and some of them do).

I have not yet begun making our own laundry detergent but thanks to Leslie, I will be very soon...maybe today! :) I can't wait!!

I know to some this seems, odd, crazy or poor. To me, I find joy in being able to stretch our dollar. I am thankful that I we are (mostly but not totally) good stewards with what God has provided. I believe it plays a good part in why God continues to bless us with children and finances to get them home.

So please share your secrets! I know smaller families have savings tips too, and I'd love to hear them, I'm just thinking that those enormous families have just GOT to have many great secrets to share.

6:35am and Off to School

2012-01-09T06:47:00.000-05:00

Not the best lighting with my phone before sunrise but here's Nadia and Marni on the bus for school.

We are so grateful the bus comes right to the end of our driveway for pick up and drop off. The ladies on the bus (usually there is a driver AND an aide) are so sweet and very loving towards our girls.

This pic shows Nadia on the wheelchair lift. Once inside the chair, with Nadia in it, is secured into place. The massive belts and straps also secure Nadia into her chair more securely for the ride.

Marni, my wiggle worm runner girl, is strapped in with a five-point harness. This is more for keeping her safely seated than protection in an accident, I guess. I say that because if she would sit nicely, she wouldn't have it. Kind of makes me glad she doesn't, ya know?

Failing!

2012-01-08T15:31:00.000-05:00

I'm failing at this picture a day thing already! I totally flaked on Friday but Saturday I was sucked into a 36 hour snooze. Seems like I got hit with the 24 hour flu. Glad to be getting back to "normal"....whatever that means.

Anyway, this is the picture I get when I ask Dan and Anthony to get together for a photo. That's Dan's "pretend like there's something exciting going on in the football game" look, I guess. lol Crazy boy!

I'm Blind!!

2012-01-05T18:58:00.000-05:00

Is it too much to ask for one nice picture of me and my babies?! My word! Every time the flash would start to shine Marni would cover my face, move away or climb on my head. I think I yelled "MARNI!" 50 times! Glad Nadia was amused....really glad she didn't pee my bed from laughing so much.

Now if I can stop seeing spots that be nice.

Book Reading Time

2012-01-05T18:46:00.000-05:00

Its time for our nightly book time, the girls are all snug in my bed. Love these two!

AFJROTC Anthony

2012-01-05T07:37:00.001-05:00

This pic was taken a couple of months ago but wanted to post it. I am so incredibly proud of Anthony, he has really stepped up this year.

For the past 4 yrs or so, I homeschooled the kids. This year ALL of them are attending our local schools. It all is working out pretty well thus far. I was concerned about Anthony because he is such a smart kid but focus and organization have always been problems (which resulted in multiple diagnosis). Wanting to keep his options open for the military, he decided he prefer not to be on any meds. Well, long story short, he's doing great (with the exception of Spanish). He is doing awesome in JROTC and has goals to attend The Citadel, get his bachelors in Criminal Justice then enlist in the USAF as an officer (interested in security, like Military Police) for 4 years then apply for a job with the FBI. Who knows where things will lead but how delighted I am that he is no longer looking to be a video game tester! lol

Anthony has also been on the Drill Team and Orienteering Team this year.

I'm one proud mama!

365 Photos

2012-01-05T07:28:00.000-05:00

Okay, I'll jump on the bandwagon and attempt this picture a day thing for 2012. This shouldn't be too difficult if I use my BlackBerry...I think lol

Since I already missed a few days I will upload multiple photos today.

I tried to get a pic of the kids before they left for school today but we ran out of time...I only got 3 of them :)

Olya and Yana ready to head for the bus.

And Marni giving me her grumpy face because she was annoyed that I made her stay still to get ready for school and then, to top it of, requested that she smile for a picture lol I like the smiley pic, just wish it weren't so blurry.

1st Documents Sent!

2012-01-03T16:02:00.001-05:00

It is so cool to me that this early in the process we can have so much information on Alyssa (that's what we plan to rename her) and submit notarized, apostilled documents letting the MOJ know we are coming for her...basically she will be put on "hold" for us.

Well, today those documents were sent via DHL overseas! I'm so excited! I look forward to hearing the documents have been received, translated, submitted and accepted.

Committed. I like it! :)
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Jehovah Jireh - The LORD Will Provide

2012-01-01T21:00:00.000-05:00

It’s actually funny to me how much money this adoption has cost us already. It’s only funny because God has provided thus far and in the end it will not increase the total cost. It’s funny to me because I am use to Ukrainian adoptions. At this point, if we were adopting from Ukraine again, we would have only had an updated homestudy cost…probably about $600-$700 total. Instead, we are in nearly ¼ of the cost of the estimated total (approximately $20,000)…and we’ve barely just begun!! But isn’t it awesome how God has provided?!!! I’m just blown away!

How is it that God can ask us to step out in faith to adopt, without us having the funds or knowing how we will get the funds, for the 5th time and still amaze us at His faithfulness to provide?

As much as I truly do enjoy seeing how God “pulls it off” each time, I wish I had the secret formula for affording adoptions. I know so many people whose hearts feel the ache to adopt but are hesitant due to the lack of funds. I know everyone is just like I was (and still am at times during most of my adoptions) and wants to know how we did it. Often I wonder if they assume we are sitting on a secret stash or have created debt, but neither is true.

When we began our first adoption in late 2004 for Yana, I did not yet know the Lord. When I tell you that God allowed us to bust our tails trying to will that adoption to happen, I am not exaggerating. That was a LOT of work! And a lot of late nights running numbers in my head! I can tell you how we did it but it’s a lot easier trusting God, allowing Him to lead and guide us to how we should either fundraise or not, sell things or not and always be good stewards with what He has already provided…get REAL crunchy (I love that term lol).

Our next “big” cost will be filing our I-800a & USCIS fingerprints…I believe that’s approximately $830. We will do this when our homestudy is complete. Due to the fact that this is our first Hague adoption, we need Child Abuse & Neglect Registry checks for every state we have lived in since we were 18 yrs old and with Dan being 49 and he having spent 20+ years in the military, that’s 8 states we need checks from! Thankfully Iceland and Japan do not have registries that we would have to request from! With needing results from 8 states, we are likely to find ourselves waiting for results from at least one of them for several weeks, I would assume. Too bad they aren’t all like North Carolina, THE DAY the request was faxed over, the results were faxed back to our agency!! That’s a good start! Anyway, I suspect our homestudy won’t be ready to be sent to USCIS until late January. It will be interesting to see how God will provide for that, but I’m trusting He will.

From there, our next big cost will likely come 2-3 months afterwards (I’m guessing because I do not know how long it is currently taking to get an approved I-800a application back from the USCIS). At that point we will need to pay another ¼ of the total adoption cost, I believe. I know it’s huge, but nothing is too big for our awesome God. If it is His will, He WILL provide.

The Lord's Calling

2011-12-30T21:22:00.004-05:00

People need to know that we do not believe we are making these decisions when, where and who to adopt on our own. I wish I could truly share with people how much we believe the Lord is calling us, but theres nothing more that I can do then just tell you.

As we have thought before, we thought we were done adopting. When the seemingly sudden desire to adopt again started to grow within both Dan and myself, I had a sneaky suspicion it was the Lord, being that we were both on the same page at the same time once again but I do not say these words easily, "yes, I believe it is the Lord". If I'm not certain it is, I will not say I am certain. So as we've done in the past, we moved forward in faith, praying and believing the Lord will clarify if it is Him or us. I can say today with all certainty that I ABSOLUTELY believe the Lord IS calling us to this little girl. Now does that mean that SHE will be the end result? I can't say that. I can only say what direction I believe the Lord is leading us.

It was the same way when we adopted Marni. I knew if I thought long and hard about adopting another child, a little one with Down syndrome no less, that I would determine that it made no sense for us. I cannot tell you how thankful I am that I refused to do that. I'm not saying to throw all logic out the window, I'm just saying I can either trust God or I could look at my worldview and determine what "seems right". No thank you, I am, grateful the Lord has blessed me with such great faith and I intend to allow Him to use me and my life to glorify Him through it.

I know there are people in our lives, who love us (some believers, some not) who are concerned. They are concerned that another child will be too much. But honestly, they are the same people who can't imagine having as many children and needs we already have. I think some people think how difficult it would be for them and assume it must be for us. But I do not do this in my own strength, if I did, the kids would rule the house lol the Lord led us to adopt each and everyone of them and I could not be more thankful that I trusted the Lord rather than other people's concerns.

Also, I have some fabulous friends and acquaintances in the adoption community with HUGE families....12 kids, 15 kids, 27 kids!!! don't tell me that God doesn't call some families to love and adopt many, many children. He does! And why not us? We are not perfect, we are not wealthy in money but we are willing and faithful...is that not all that He needs us to be?

I am thankful for our MANY friends who are supportive and encouraging!

‎"I can hear the least of these
Crying out so desperately
And I know we are the hands and feet
Of You, O God
So if you say move
It's time for me to follow through
And do what I was made to do
And show them who you are
Cause I don't want to live like I don't care
I don't want to say another empty prayer
Oh I refuse to
Sit around and wait for someone else
To do what God has called me to do myself Oh I could choose
Not to move
But I refuse " - Josh Wilson, I REFUSE

Olya destroying Lowe's

2011-12-30T19:04:00.000-05:00

Shopping at Lowe's

2011-12-30T18:41:00.000-05:00

Using our Christmas gift card at Lowe's to buy the electrical supplies for the attic space that will soon be a new bedroom!

Sisterly love!

It's Official...we are adopting again!!

2011-12-26T14:27:00.002-05:00

We have begun the process to adopt once again. This time we begin our journey to our next little girl, not in Ukraine but elsewhere in Eastern Europe. Adopting from another country, a Hague country at that, is all new to me. It makes me a little nervous only because I have to learn something new, though I am told it is a very straight forward fairly predictable process. Ukraine, while extremely unpredictable, I know the routine well...I could do the dossier in my sleep!

What I like about this other country is our ability to make an official commitment to a particular child right out the gate. That darling child is "Abbie" http://reecesrainbow.org/29835/abbie-21-9

I really thought we were done. I really thought that we would continue to work in orphan ministry but not adopt anymore children of our own except "Flower", should God open that door. Then, a few weeks ago, somehow it came up in conversation between Dan and I, I don't even remember the details. It just seemed like we both arrived at the same place at the same time, we would start looking into adopting another little one.

As usual, we strongly considered adopting from foster care. We have nothing against adopting from foster care. Financially and logistically it seems to make the most sense. We started looking online. My heart, however, has a desire to adopt another child with Down syndrome. I don't know how that would be adopting from foster care but I was open to other special needs similar in nature.

Of course, I began to do what I usually do...I started checking out the cuties on Reece's Rainbow. Then somewhere along the way, I started having discussions in private messages with another friend of some beautiful special needs, adopted kiddos. My friend told me about this other countries adoption program and my ears perked up. I checked out what I could online, about the process and was immediately drawn to the idea. At first I thought it was just me, but now I am convinced it is the Lord.

I made contact with the ministry volunteer for this country's program and began inquiring about a few children listed on RR. None of them seemed to be our child. So I asked if we could be notified of any new kids, fitting the age and description we were looking for, became available. I hoped that we would know if we saw our child.

I could not believe it when in just a matter of days an email came about a new profile of this little girl. The brief, loose description sounded like a match...I opened the file attachment with her photo and started to cry. She is absolutely precious!! In my heart (and in my email to Dan, who was at work) I felt "It's her! It's her!"

So not to drag out the story, Dan quickly was on board! As usual, we intended to take steps of faith. We figured we could afford to update the homestudy and the rest we would pray God to provide as we needed...until, we realized that with a Hague adoption, we needed to commit to an agency, submit an official commitment for the child which meant a commitment to the program, AND update our homestudy. The grand total for that initial step of faith would be roughly $4300!!! My heart sank. We don't have that money today. :(

Dan walked into our bedroom and found me sitting here, wondering what to do. I was thinking that perhaps I was wrong, perhaps she isn't our child and its just what I wanted but not God. I told Dan the dilemma. He said we could put it on the credit card (later I learned this would not be an option). While I was so very thankful that he was committed enough to pursuing her, I wondered if this was Gods will or not. I DO think sometimes God provides by giving us the ability to use a credit card but just because we have one, doesn't mean that's what we are supposed to do and I certainly don't want to do something that is out of Gods will...especially if in the end it leaves us with debt and no child to show for it.

So I prayed. I prayed that night that God would provide the funds another way if it was His will. I needed to know that THIS IS His desire for us. We have a lot on our plate, we can't add to our family unless He is in it because it will only be by His strength and provision that we will be able to do any of this.

The next morning I was driving 4 hours to Atlanta to pick up a group of Ukrainian orphans for our orphan ministry to be hosted in the Carolinas. My heart leaped with joy when I realized WE DO HAVE THE MONEY! As a matter of fact we have exactly what we need to take those initial steps!! The money is in an account we contribute to monthly but do not pull funds from...except when we began Marni's adoption. And so, we have stepped out in faith and committed.

While there was some uncertainty initially about whether this was God calling us to adopt again or not, I have since been convinced that He is. I don't know how He will provide the rest or how 2012 will end but I truly believe we are taking the steps He desires us to take right here, right now.

And if that isn't exciting enough, there is a PLAN coming together to get "Flower" out of foster care and into our forever family this year too!! She will be 16 this summer, so time is running out. We knew this before we agreed to move forward to adopt elsewhere but we had no plan and no idea if God would open that door. It wasn't until AFTER we were convinced that pursuing "Abbie" is God's plan for us did we learn of a way that we might be able to bring "Flower" home.

This is 2 completely separate adoptions, in to different countries. Absolutely insane! We do not need to start approvals for "Flower's" adoption for a few months, and need to check on things to make sure she is on board and put things into place but talk about $$$$$ needed to make this happen.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray with us for both Abbie and Flower. Please pray for the FINANCES, LOGISTICS, THE PROCESS, DOORS TO OPEN and most importantly GODS WILL AND WISDOM. I truly believe it has only been with the help of our friends and readers prayers that we've been able to bring any of our children home. This year will be the biggest obstacles of all with 2 adoptions and adding 2 more children (we need to finish an additional room in the house too), we will NOT be able to do this alone.

Our Family 2011

2011-08-24T13:56:00.000-04:00

Marni

2011-08-24T13:50:00.001-04:00

Nadia

2011-08-24T13:50:00.000-04:00

Olya

2011-08-24T13:49:00.001-04:00

Yana

2011-08-24T13:49:00.000-04:00

Anthony

2011-08-24T13:48:00.000-04:00

Ivan

2011-08-24T13:47:00.000-04:00

Merry Christmas!!

2010-12-17T15:25:00.001-05:00

Joy Love Story Holiday

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View the entire collection of cards.

A M A Z I N G!!!!

2010-10-17T21:39:00.003-04:00

Oh the much awaited update, right?

In a word, A M A Z I N G!!!!! Truly amazing!

I trusted God would work out all the details throughout and after Marni's adoption but never in a million years did I imagine He would "show up" so unbelievably much. It's not that I doubt Him or think He is not capable but rather just because things don't go perfectly, it doesn't mean God's not in it. I totally expected Him to be in it but I still figured it would take lots of "Michelle" work and prayer. However, it has not been so.

Marni has blossomed so much in the past week and a half alone, I am truly blown away. I figured 6 months down the road we could be where we are now. She is so loving, so fun and so smart. Nadia and Marni are so stinkin' cute together at home. They enjoy playing together and they encourage one another in their weaknesses.

Marni sees Nadia using the "big girl" potty and now will use it too (which she previously was not comfortable with and refused to do). Nadia sees how physically able Marni is and is working harder to do things that do not come easy to her. Yesterday Nadia pulled herself up to the bathroom counter from the floor, then bent down to move the step stool, then stepped up to the sink!!! That is HUGE and AMAZING progress! She is letting go of some of her fears and trying hard to do the things she sees her sister doing. Same with dressing and undressing....Nadia sees Marni do it and now has a greater desire to do it herself. Marni is learning to sit and color and even do wooden puzzles with Nadia. The girls hug and kiss, giggle, sit together and want to do and be the same.

I SO had hoped that someday the girls would be close and would encourage one another and help each other but did I think I would start seeing this after Marni was home just one week? HECK NO! But we are seeing it! Nadia was so discouraged and broken-hearted, so we prayed over it one night together....the next day EVERYTHING changed! It was AMAZING!

I see them becoming partners in crime too LOL Nothing major, more funny than anything but I will have to make sure they don't start to takeover LOL

When Marni was at the orphanage they had her on 3 doses/day of some herbal drops, 3 doses/day of an anti-psychotic medication and 2 doses/day of a tranquilizer. I am SO happy to report that she has been weaned off of ALL of it with the exception of the one dose of the tranquilizer to help her sleep peacefully through the night. She is a restless sleeper at night and her body probably has been come quite dependent on the the meds. She will see the pediatrician on Tuesday, and will hopefully be changed to a better med that she perhaps will eventually be weaned off of. AND it's important for me to share that there were NO advantages seen with her on the other meds. NONE! Her adjustment has been better than any other adoption. I think it's because she lives in the moment and isn't worried about all the details and what ifs! However, I was going to use her backpack as a diaper bag (the one we used in Ukraine) and she freaked out...she must have thought I was going to take her back. :( I put the backpack away and we have not had any problems since.

This child smiles, laughs and engages so much better off the meds and in our home. She loves her family and we ALL love her SO much. She is so stinkin' adorable.

God has "shown up" in so many ways but another is through the energy he has given me. She is a busy child (although at home she is not like she was in Ukraine...I think she is much more settled in and comfortable, no so overstimulated with the "new") and she is my 6th child in the house and of course with Nadia's needs, I need energy. I have struggled with energy for years but God has increasingly helped me in this area and I have not been having any issues with that. I am enjoying pretty much every moment I have with all the kids. The big kids are helpful but I definitely am not looking to place the load on them, I intend to be MOM. My heart is so full of JOY, I was born for this.

I hope to have time for more updates soon. I just know there will be so much more wonderful news of her progress and adjustment to report that it will be hard to keep up but I want to share.

Blessed Beyond Measure

2010-10-07T14:40:00.002-04:00

I cannot thank you, my friends and family, enough for praying us through and praying us home. God's hand has been on this adoption, as it has on each other but this one in such a different and unique way to the others that it was more than clear we truly were called to adopt this precious child. We are so incredibly blessed once again, I am at a loss for words.

We made it home safe and Marni is doing GREAT! She is enjoying her big brothers and sisters without hesitation, and they are enjoying her. Nadia is having a little bit of a harder time not being the "baby" and probably some disappointment that her little sister, for now anyway, isn't responsive to her love. Marni wants to be twirled and tickled, and needs to be cared for and watched over in ways that Nadia just can't at this time. So for Marni, Nadia is just someone to try and push off her Dora couch because she wants to take over. So it's hard for Nadia but we will make it through. Everyone will learn from each other and God will take care of the details.

Thanks again for your prayers, trust me, I wouldn't have made it through without them.

Final post from UA?

2010-10-05T12:50:00.000-04:00

This will probably my last post from Ukraine. :))

Today we received Marni's visa with no troubles. The hardest part of today was dealing with an already busy body child without a nap. I am hoping it turns out to be a good thing. I fed her an early dinner and laid her down for bed around 4:30. I was trying to hold out until atleast 6 but mama needed a nap too. So I slept for I think an hour and got up to pack and straighten up the apartment. It is now 7:40 and I'm going to try to get some sleep in case Marni wakes up to play.

The driver will be here at 4AM to bring us to the airport for our 6:45 flight (that's 11:45 EST Tuesday night). I believe we have a 2 hour flight to Munich, 1.5 hours layover, then a zillion hours to Charlotte ;) We are scheduled to arrive in Charlotte at 3:35PM EST Wednesday. That should be about a 14 hour journey. PLEASE pray for us. Not only for safe travels but also that this is not a nightmare experience with my little squishy (Marni). I am hoping and praying I will be pleasantly surprised. In any case, hopefully the Dramamine will keep her ears and belly calm and ....well, knock her out! :))

See you on the otherside! Praise God! (I have tears of JOY).

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Even better...

2010-10-04T16:17:00.000-04:00

the passport and document were sent on an earlier train and are both in my possession!!!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Quick update....

2010-10-04T09:29:00.000-04:00

All that was needed to be accomplished today was successfully completed! The passport is on the train to Kyiv, scheduled to arrive tonight. Tomorrow we will have our interview at the Embassy @ 2:00 and get her visa AND WE'RE DONE!!

Please continue to pray us home!
Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Really wanted to post....

2010-10-03T15:55:00.000-04:00

an update, so much about her wonderful progress and our time together that I want to share but there's no time left tonight. I need to get in bed as we need to be out the door just after 9 in the morning & I'm so tired already...so no moving in slow motion like I prefer. ;)

I DO want to ask for prayer though. We are going to the Embassy in the morning. Should not be a problem but there were a few concerns so I really would appreciate the prayers. Specifically, we need prayer that all of the documents we are submitting are correct and there are no issues with not having the ones we intend to submit on Tuesday.

Also, VERY IMPORTANT, please pray that Marni's passport and a replacement document is received on time tomorrow, with no delays or issues. We need a fax of each immediately once received in Kharkov then the originals overnighted for arrival in Kyiv Tuesday morning.

If any of these things don't work out, as we believe they should, we will NOT be able to fly home Wednesday. There is no room for mistakes....PLEASE PRAY!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Totally Zonked!

2010-10-01T15:18:00.001-04:00

Really hoping she doesn't fall off the bed again tonight.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Life-sized Baby Doll

2010-10-01T15:18:00.000-04:00

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Friday in Kyiv

2010-10-01T15:13:00.000-04:00

Its getting cold! The temperature seems to have dropped quite a bit all over Ukraine. So much so that there should be lows as low as 30 for at least the next several days with a chance of SNOW by the end of the week! Prayerfully we will be home by then.

There does not seem to be heat on in the building yet but I'm using the space heater in the bedroom. Tonight I warmed our pajamas before putting them on. :) Marni really seemed to like that after her bath.

So tonight we are in a different apartment than last night. I can't believe this one is only $9 more per night. We left the last one because the dusty old mattress was killing me and forced me to setup camp on the floor in the middle of the night. If I knew we could have had this apt at such similar cost, I would have never even attempted the first night.

We are quite comfortable now. The bed is better, the apartment is newer (inside anyway) and doors for every room which makes it a lot easier on me as Marni is a lot like Curious George. :)

She is still a busy body but really doing so well. What joy it brings my heart to feel & see her beginning to bond with me. She loves the Ergo carrier..its been a great bonding tool. She now wants me to pick her up often which is good (bonding & attaching) but she needs to use her abled body to walk too as I already have a child that needs more physical assistance getting around. So we are working on both.

She enjoys putting her head on my chest while I rock her sitting on the edge of the bed. Tonight I sang to her while rocking her and she turned her head to watch my face. She had the same look of awe that an infant has examining her mothers face as she comforts her. Truly sweet.

And more to be grateful for...she's been a magnificent sleeper. She napped for 3.5 hrs today and still went to bed quite easily tonight.

Well, my Embassy appt is scheduled for Monday morning. Please pray there are no issues with her passport Monday so we can make our flight on Wednesday.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Things that bind...

2010-09-30T06:12:00.000-04:00

More specifically, foods that bind....tell me some in addition to bananas. PLEASE!

Both yesterday and today I changed some seriously nasty diapers. She didn't wear pampers at the baby house, they just put her on the bucket regularly (yes, bucket) but I've been doing the same with the potty. I've tried potty seat and no potty seat but she won't always go but both times she made a stinky, they've been far from solid. I seriously don't think I've ever been so thankful for pampers before. Wow, not fun!

Anyway, enough details but got suggestions for binding foods? We will be stocking up on bananas. :)

The overnight train actually worked out well. She slept a few hours then wanted to play. So hard to be firm and insistent about sleeping when her face is so lit up with joy and excitement. I can only imagine what she must have been thinking.

She finally went back to sleep for a few hours then really has been quite good today (not that she was bad yesterday, just a better day).

Right now she is napping...I blocked out the sun as much as I could and she was snoring within 5 min. This is the only way I will find time to blog...and sleep. So time for my nap!

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What a day!

2010-09-29T13:44:00.000-04:00

Well, I got her! I'm happy but need to get home. I know time alone....probably truly alone, in an apartment together is really the best next step but boy do I need the comforts of home and our own space right now.

There are things I want to post about and regardless that this Blog is currently "private" I will wait until we are out of here. Rough day....and I'm not refering to Marni though she did not make it any easier.

As expected, she is like a wild woman ...octo girl with as fast as she can move her arms to grab at things...such as my glasses and anything else within reach.

Currently we are on the bed, in the dark....I may be on to something because she is quietly lying down, sucking her thumb. I don't care if she falls asleep now or not since our cab will be here in less than 2 hours to bring us to the overnight train. But right now I just need her to sit still and chill. She, understandably wants to explore everything and just run through the apartment grabbing whatever she can. Mama needs a nap. LOL

Anyway, her passport should be ready Monday. That means as long as there are no delays in getting it, we can fly home on Wed the 6th. So that's when I'm booking our flights for. DO NOT TELL MY KIDS....we want to surprise them and if there are any delays, we don't want them let down.

Please continue to pray for us through the rest of the process and for the transition and adjustment...we really need it.

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry

Amen!

2010-09-28T13:13:00.000-04:00

Successful AND productive!

The short version (in case I run out of steam for a more detailed post), we got the final court decree, we got Marni Ahna's new birth certificate (naming us as her parents), we got her new tax ID number and we have all the other notarized documents ready for the rest of the process! Oh, and train tickets to Kyiv for tomorrow night! :))

The day was not without the "typical" Ukrainian adoption bumps that come in new and surprising ways(though never shocking as they are expected).

Got to the courthouse to pick up the court decree and surprise, its not ready. They had computer issues so were still working on it then we'd need the judge to sign it. And so we waited...

There are only 2 notaries in the city that handle adoptions (notaries here are much more serious business than in the US). So we decided to go to the one by the birth certificate office as they had given us a 2:00 appt for the certificate and said they were too busy for us to come earlier. So we drive 30 min across town to get there.

Once there, we are told that the POA I have from Dan does not give me the authority to sign for him, only submit and receive documents. Sooo, we travel 30 min to the other side of town to the other notary.

Next we travel BACK 30 min to quickly eat lunch and take care of the birth certificate. The lady in the office gives us a little bit of a hard time because nowhere on my marriage certificate does it say my last name is now Hills. Although Lena explains how it works in America this lady still gives her a hard time but does end up agreeing to do it. We call this a POWER TRIP....I describe this woman as peeing on her territory...they love to do that in Ukraine (not literally).

Then we travel 30 min back to file for the new tax ID and get it immediately. :))

Probably another 30 min to the train station, who knows....and perhaps another 20 back to the apartment. I'm beat!

So all in all it was a great day.

Tomorrow we will pick up the inspector and head right to the baby house. Marni will take off her orphan clothes and put on her first VERY OWN clothes to start her new life. I will take custody of our DAUGHTER and we will be together forever. :)

Next we will file for her passport, visit the bank and pack up to catch the train to Kyiv. We are taking the overnight train in hopes she will sleep the whole way.

Please pray that tomorrow is also very successful, that Marni & I handle the transition well, that we get encouraging news about when the passport will be ready (& I don't personally have to be here to pick it up) and that the orphanage Dr will have/give us enough meds to safely get Marni home, to the Dr and properly weaned off.

Woohoo! Can't wait to get home!!!
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Last Day of The "wait" :))

2010-09-27T06:08:00.000-04:00

I probably don't have very long to type this message but it's my last opportunity in front of a computer....probably until Feb after things settle down after the holidays LOL....so I thought I'd attempt a quick post.

I am SO excited that today is our last day of the 'wait". Lena returns to Kharkov tonight, which means we will go back to our last apartment that is central to the city. Tomorrow morning we will hit the ground running...first the court decree then the birth certificate. Prayerfully the court decree will be ready first thing in the morning. There is always a good chance that it will not be yet signed by the judge and you have to wait for the judge to show up and not be "too busy" to sign it. I will be praying this will not be an issue.

Marni was born in Kharkov so we do not have to travel for her birth certificate so this is great! |Hopefully there will be no delay (failed power, someone not at work, etc) and we can get this early in the day as well. If so, (I am trying to be absolutely optimistic) I BELIEVE we would then file for Marni's tax ID number. I'm not quite sure how long this process usually takes these days (it was new in 08 so it took a few days but I think in 09 we were able to file for the passport the same day). Gosh if we could file for the passport tomorrow...I would be so amazed and grateful. I will go over everything tonight with Lena but I'm THINKING that we should at least be able to file for the passport on Wed. if there are no problems with the other previous steps (documents and tax ID) which could mean we could probably fly home on the 6th but SHHHHHHHHH DON'T TELL MY KIDS.

The kids think we are still shooting for the 8th as a return, which a safe bet but I don't want to be "safe", I want to be home. :))

Please keep the remaining process in prayer. I should be signing Marni out of the orphanage on Wednesday so please pray for us both during this time of transition and adjustment. So happy to be in the home stretch!!

God bless!!!

I meant....

2010-09-25T13:36:00.000-04:00

She loves to destroy flowers lol
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Loves flowers

2010-09-25T13:35:00.000-04:00

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Decided to tantrum but...

2010-09-25T13:33:00.000-04:00

She decided she would lay down to tantrum but then was too tired lol
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Sat down...

2010-09-25T13:31:00.000-04:00

She sat down for a tantrum but then decided to think it over lol
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Communication

2010-09-25T04:01:00.002-04:00

Here is a short clip (that's all my phone will allow me to send without a Bluetooth or a cord) of Marni "talking". This is how she communicates her wants.

Yesterday I learned that she has a different response specifically for "spaceeba" ("thank you")...it is like "ptt ptt" SOOOOO sweet!

Also, yesterday as she was at the top pf the slide ready to go, she was mimicking me with my "one, two, three, go!" Hers was more like "ah, Ah, ah, AHH" and then she did the hands out in front with palms up like I do. AHHHHH, I LOVE HER!!!!

More Photos!!

2010-09-24T06:42:00.002-04:00

If we are not connected on Facebook and you would like to see the pics I've been uploading throughout the trip, you can view them at:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=198450&id=540407908&l=a042ce90ef

You don't need to sign in to Facebook or have a Facebook account to get to them. Just click on the first pic and you can make your way through the album one at a time (for FB beginners lol)

I upload pics to the album fairly regularly so if you are interested, keep checking for updates :))

4 More Days!!

2010-09-24T05:56:00.004-04:00

4 more days!! 4 more days (including the day I am in now...and it's already 1pm here) then we can pick up the final court decree and Marni Ahna's new birth certificate! I feel like the Little Engine That Could...I think I can, I think I can LOL It actually hasn't been so bad.

I really try not to wish things in life would hurry along necessarily because I have watched so many dear friends deal with some extremely devestating and difficult things in their lives over the last 3 years. You've just got to know that there are times when you wish you could go back before that particular tragedy took place and cherish those moments.

I don't live in fear, and I don't live like it's my last day (party like it's 1999! lol) but I do know that in a blink of an eye ANYTHING could happen to any one of us and life can seemingly be turned upside down. We all will walk through valleys, experience loss and hardship in our lives and right now we are near the mountain top and there is noway that I want to rush to any valley.

So, I am thankful for today. I am thankful my family is healthy and together...even in Marni & I are thousands of miles away for a short time longer. I am thankful for this miracle of adoption, to which the Lord has called us and blessed us. I am thankful we are financially stable and have the love of friends & family in my life. Therefore, today I choose not to complain...out loud Ha ha!

The rain actually was a blessing. As anyone who has adopted from Ukraine and waited out the 10-days in region can attest, things can quickly start to feel like Ground Hog Day! The rain helped break things up a bit. I took the taxi the one day and spent our visit indoors. I took the my feet/metro/bus the next day and had another good visit inside. The following day, the sun was out but the playground was still muddy. I knew Marni had been stuck inside that playroom for 2 days straight. So I put on the Ergo Carrier and took her for a walk outside. Yesterday the plyaground was still a bit wet (for those who haven't been to a Ukrainian orphanage...the playground is just dirt no woodchips or covering of any kind), so the other kids were still indoors but Marni and I ventured out.

She was SoooOooOo vocal yesterday! I LOVED it! We wandered all over the orphanage grounds with her pointing to what she wanted and making it vocally known (once Dan uploads the 2 second video to FB, I can post it here for you to see how she vocally communicates). She would then grab my hand and pull me where she wanted me. Did I mention that I LOVED, LOVED, LOVED it?!

I was trying to get some pics of her while she was sitting still so I gave her my Ukrainian cell phone and sat her on the bench. She kept wanting to just go take off with it and was not happy when I would take it away, insisting that if she wanted to play with it she would need to sit down. So she had a little tantrum. She cried and through herself in the dirt lol I told her over and over she could have it if she came to the bench (using words in Russian that I know she understands and even showed her as I placed it on the bench next to me for her to come get). Not that I enjoy tantrums, especially when you know the caregivers are watching to see how you handle it, but I think it's important to see how our new children handle situations that upset them....not that it was my intent to upset her, not at all. Anyway, she didn't go on and on, and stopped a short time after sitting in the dirt. She came to the bench, picked up the phone, sat down, scooted way away from me then tried to take off with it again LOL Gotta love her! She didn't win and the crying happened again and away I put the phone. She's so darn cute. Learning moments like these will help us have an easier flight home, I truly believe. She will learn about her Mama and I am learning about my baby.

Look Up!

2010-09-22T05:37:00.001-04:00

Hey, check out the "sticker" family I just added to the top of our blog! How cool is that?! Wish there were more room because our kitty cat wouldn't fit :(

Rainy Days Can't Get Me Down!

2010-09-21T14:14:00.003-04:00

The sun didn't shine (crazy nonstop rain since last night) but I woke up recovered and this evening celebrated the good news....NO MORATORIUM!!!

The rain was insane! Instead of skipping a visit with Marni Ahna today, I called for a taxi. It probably cost me about $30 but considering I have been blessed with more affordable housing than our previous Kharkov adoption and I'm spending nothing or next to nothing on food each day for the next week (I get hot, home-cooked meals here. Yum!) I know it was totally worth it. I do hope the weather is better throughout the night tonight and all day tomorrow. Puddles and mud are everywhere! The potholes and uneven ground in the streets that I need to cross and on the sidewalks where I need to step, can make even a nonrainy day difficult if things don't dry up a bit before heading out. It is particularly difficult to miss these crazy deep puddles when I am returning from the orphanage at night when the sun starts to go down. That's the one thing I had forgotten about when I was here in '08.

There really isn't much else to update today. The vote on the moratorium was the big thing and thankfully they decided to postpone the vote. Let me just copy/paste a few things incase you missed it via email or FB...

Konstantin (THE BEST Ukrainian facilitator on the planet!!) said:

"Ukrainian parliament just POSTPONED THE VOTING on introduction of motarorium on international adoptions based on request of Parliamentary Committe on Youth and Sports, which sent a letter to Head of Paliament stating they need more time to prepare the proper language as to moratorium and align accompanying legislation. No new date on voting was discussed. My guess is that several months will pass before parliament will return to this issue."

He also explained things further to me on the phone and I came away with (my posted response on FB)...

" my prayer was if a bilateral agreement is best for the kids that they'd find a way to do that without a moratorium. Little did I know that's what's happening in Russia right now with our US State Department. Ukraine often follows in Russia's footsteps when the Party of Regions is running the country, as they are now. So it probably is a wise guess that once Russia and the US work out the kinks, Ukraine will revisit the vote and prayerfully amend it to remove the moratorium. Could potentially be really good for the kids but more expensive for parents as they will probably need to hire an accredited middleman (I mean, agency) to complete adoptions. Lucky for those working with K, he does already work with some good agencies, one we (HCF) will be joining forces with in our HEALING HOMES MINISTRIES host program."

So for those who are currently "in process" this is fabulous news. This also means in 6 more days we will be able to pick up our final court decree. Marni Ahna truly is going home with her forever family to America!! Praise God!

Prayers Before You Sleep Tonight!!

2010-09-20T15:08:00.002-04:00

Tomorrow (Tuesday) morning, they are supposed to be voting on the moratorium. PLEASE PRAY BEFORE YOU GO TO BED TONIGHT!!!

PRAY PRAY PRAY AND THEN PRAY SOME MORE!

Pass it on!

A Visit After a Day Missed

2010-09-20T14:52:00.002-04:00

My first post from a computer...woooo hooooo!!!

Yesterday I ended up staying in. I took a day of rest which was MUCH needed. I hated not going to see my "malenki kartoshka" ("little potato"), knowing she waits for me, but each time I thought I could make the truip, I felt a little worse. So I stayed in and got lots of rest.

Today I woke up with my head spinning from the NyQuil I took last night but I knew I needed fresh air and some time with our baby girl. As I stepped outside for my two hour journey across the city, I knew it was going to be a cold rainy day. I am so thankful I learned from my Sept 08 adoption and brought a warm jacket and a big umbrella...I definitely needed them both today.

So, I walked 30 mins to the metro. I rode it for 30 mins then changed lines. I rode the metro 3 stops and got off. I walked to a cafe we have eaten at a few times and had lunch and hot tea. I know the menu well enough to order what I wanted and the waitress there now knows me. :) I then walked to the bus stop and waited 20 mins in the rain for the next bus. I rode the bus 30 mins and got off at the orphanage. Whew!

Since it was raining, we spent our visit indoors. I was tired and in no mood for chasing our girl, so for most of the visit I insisted she sit on my lap and play with me. What I learned is that she can do this without a big hassle if I insist. :) We ended up having a REALLY great visit. A lot of eye contact and skin to skin contact (she likes me to tickle her hands, forearms, neck - both front and back- ears and cheeks). We snuggled and I rocked her. I left with pretty much the same amount of hair I came with but a split lip. Yeah, she was being silly and her head smashed me in the mouth. Good times! ;)

Well, I'm ALMOST hoping for another rainy day. Maybe not rainy but perhaps a wet playground to keep us inside for our visit? I enjoyed the closeness and know it is so good for her too. I also think this is a good start to practicing being on a long plane ride together. LOL

I miss Dan and Nadia (and the rest of the crew at home) but so far I'm doing alright. I like where I am staying and am very comfortable and safe. Next week I will be moving back to the apartment we had been in, when Lena comes back and it's time to start running for the court decree, birth certificate, passport, etc.

Love from Kharkov,
Me!

Must be shared

2010-09-19T04:28:00.000-04:00

This post by another adoptive mom says it so well...I, too, just had to share it. (the link at the bottom of this post)

College tuition, name brand clothes, first cars, touring the country's most popular vacation spots and buying I-pods will never be my priority or anywhere near the top of my list of "things" I want to give my children. What I want to give them is so much more than anything money can by.

I also do not live in fear of financial poverty but believe in being a good steward with what I've been given. I do not need any Government to command me to give what I've "earned" but give to those in need (mostly to orphans) because God has blessed me with a heart to do so.

Those who cannot understand, do not know my God. He is not a fairy tale that some people choose to believe, those who have truly sought Him know this without a doubt. Don't believe me? I dare you to seek the Truth and then tell me what you find. :)

http://itsalmostnaptime.blogspot.com/2010/02/i-dont-want-my-children-to-be-happy.html

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Need to be still

2010-09-18T16:10:00.000-04:00

Well, perhaps Kristin is right and God wants me to be still. This quiet head cold now feels like it is in my lungs. Travel to & from the orphanage is tiring and its going to be worse for the next week as I will be staying further away with friends (a caregiver from Nadia's baby house & her family). They offered to have me again (I rented the room when we were adopting N) and I don't want to be here alone.

Anyway I think tomorrow morning when I unload my things there, I will just stay still and rest for the day. I need to but just stinks knowing that Marni is watching out the window, waiting for me each day.

Tonight I unexpectedly ended up sharing my testimony with my in-region facilitator. It was so encouraging to hear what she was discussing with the caregivers at the orphanage about my faith and trust in God, and how they responded by saying how they could tell by my sincerity and love for Marni. Oh Lord, they see You and I am so blessed to even be a small part in that. My facilitator is definitely seeking and even wanted me to write down the books I shared about so she could read them too. So please pray for her.

On a completely different note, this blog post was interrupted as I listened to an infant crying and crying...seemingly drunk people yelling and fighting and banging around. I don't know which apartment the noise is coming from but am praying for protection over that child and the woman in that home. Please do the same.

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More Puppy Pics

2010-09-17T15:49:00.000-04:00

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Puppies, lollipops, ice cream & LOVE

2010-09-17T15:30:00.000-04:00

Well I am SUPER tired but have already left out so much from this blog and don't want you to miss too too much!

Dan and Nadia are in Kyiv and are flying home tomorrow. Saying goodbye was so hard. I know it is the right thing to do but I think 3 wks apart will be difficult for both me and Nadia. I know she needs to see that papa lives her and care for her too but still its not going to be easy. I really need not to think about 3 weeks but just today because I will be overwhelmed with emotions.

Each day we visit Marni, I can see it gets harder and harder for her when I leave. Today her caregivers said she waits for me now (guess I better not miss any days!). They say she is watching out the window, listening for and looking at cars and tantruming when its not me. I know these are good signs of us building a bond but still sad to hear her heartache.

Today I bought her a stuffed puppy. I figured once she is with me she might like to snuggle him at night. She loved it! Glad he survived and didn't roll around in the dirt.

Also I've been bringing her fruit but today ice cream, a lollipop and a juice box. The lollipop she liked but seemed intrigued by the sticky factor too. She would roll it all over the palm of her left hand then stick it back in her mouth. I was just happy the puppy and I didn't get all sticky and keep in mind she has SO much yet to explore...it is how she will learn.

The ice cream eating lasted just seconds. Man, she devoured it! Don't know if she just loves it or is starved...maybe a bit of both.

The juice box was not an immediate hit. She didn't know what it was and even though I demonstrated with a big "Mmm" after telling her it was apple juice, she did not want to sit and check it out. I knew she would love it so I caught her and quickly squirt some in her mouth....boy, did she change her mind! She needed help but by the end seemed to pretty much have the sucking down and chilled out in the squeezing. We will have to do this some more. :)

Well, seems like I might be getting sick. I feel sinus pressure and a bit of a site throat. I'm going to bed now and hoping I wake up feeling better not worse.

Oh and lastly, seems like the thinking here (via Konstantin who has friends in Parliament) is that the moratorium will NOT pass but please keep praying! We will pick up the final court decree and Marni's new birth certificate on the 28th.

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SUCCESS!

2010-09-16T06:02:00.000-04:00

We are now officially the proud new parents of one beautiful Marni Ahna!

We have both felt led to name her after my dearest friend, Marni, who lost her battle with breast cancer nearly 3 years ago. I am so happy to have my little own Marni :)

Thank you for your prayers, please continue to pray us all back home safely.

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Court

2010-09-15T15:32:00.000-04:00

Too tired for an update but do want to ask for prayers for court in the morning (3am EST). I will update afterwards.

Thank you for keeping our growing family covered in prayer!

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Peaches Taste Better Than Dirt!

2010-09-14T14:11:00.000-04:00

We decided to start bringing fruit for "Joy"when we visit. I have reason to believe she is not getting enough nourishment so figured for now I will feed her fruit each visit. It had not occurred to me before that this may also be a good way to keep her interest in putting something other than dirt, leaves, sticks and garbage in her mouth. She was not fond of the peal (I'm thinking it may have been an unfamiliar texture) but otherwise seemed to really enjoy it.

Our visit was pretty great once again. We did sliding, swinging & singing and see-sawing & singing. "Joy" would try to mimic my hand movements or the number of fingers I was holding up during the songs. I found this particularly cool since reading about other families teaching sign language to their children with Downs. I'm looking forward to purchasing the Baby Signing Time DVDs that were suggested....apparently they are taught to music. I bet both my little girls will love that.

Well its time to call it a night and get ready for our last day before court. So excited!

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The Rest of My Post

2010-09-14T04:55:00.000-04:00

Boy do I miss my BlackBerry the way it was. I cannot tell you how frustrating this is. Ugh!

Let's see...the orphanage Sveta took me on a tour of was sooo different than any of the 4 orphanages and baby houses we adopted our children from. The inside was definitely updated and new but even the childrens artwork is displayed so beautifully. You could certainly see love even in the care of the rooms. Toys! Wow so many and not old or broken. I am curious as to who sponsors that place. A pool, a fountain...just so much love and care can be seen ...but of course it still is what it is, an orphanage. The children are all clean with "normal" clothes, they don't even look like orphans! Its sad that all orphanages in Ukraine are far from being equal. I will share about "Joy's" conditions when we are all home.

Well, 2 days without visiting our baby girl had me wondering how she would respond when we got back. I was concerned she'd be upset with us. But it was not so. She ran to me and clung tight like a koala like usual.

We came straight off the bus from Sveta's so we didn't have the carrier. I was so thankful we did not spend the visit chasing her. She was so well behaved and so happy (love that giggle)! She is doing so awesome on the slide now and wants to wait for Nadia at the bottom to help her. She's still putting garbage in her mouth to get a reaction from me so I'm trying to chill on my response to her mouthful of dirt and leaves. I also could do without Nadia's bossiness on how I should be parenting her "little sister". She's so protective of her and tells her "I love you, little sister". :)

"Joy" sat on my lap on the swing next to Nadia. Nadia and I sang a bunch of songs while "Joy" hummed, babbled, cooed, and tried to sing along. Definitely a sweet sweet time. I couldn't help but think back to 2 yrs ago when we were visiting Nadia at the baby house and I was singing the same songs to her. And now she knows all the words & sings them to her little sister. What a day to remember.

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The Past 3 Days (& "Flower")

2010-09-13T14:07:00.000-04:00

Wow! I'm not even sure where to start. I guess I should apologize for the many odd typos here, previously and for the remainder of the trip as I have dropped my BlackBerry one too many times and am stuck only being able to type in "portrait" which works on auto-finish and likes to make a mess of what I really am trying to type (which is why some typos are not even close to the word I was aiming for). Also my posts will not be nearly as long or as detailed as I'd like because this is not fun nor is it easy. *sigh* With that said...

Now that we have a court date and Dan (& Nadia) has plane tickets home, we figured now is the time to visit with our friends in various parts of the region. I have to say, it is so amazingly cool to have several friends we care deeply for and them us and yet neither speaks the others language much at all. Truly a blessing from God.

So on Saturday we hopped on a bus and headed out to spend the weekend with Sveta (who happens to live in the same village as "Flower"). We met Sveta in 2007 when she was a chaperone for our second hosting with "Flower". We have kept in touch and even saw each other in 2008 when we were here adopting Nadia.

Our visit was great but the hot, overcrowded bus rides are wearing on us. We take the metro and bus often when we visit "Joy" and its becoming a bit exhausting. As a friend mentioned on FB, it doesn't matter if its 100 degrees and there's no AC, they keep the windows up so not to catch a cold from the breeze! Drives me crazy...feels like torture. The bus we took to Sveta was loaded up with folding chairs in the isle and a footstool at the door to seat more people. Oy!

The village was a fine one. It is one of the better ones of those I've been to outside of the cities but still crazy, bumpy and windy dirt roads (makes our dirt road look fancy lol). The biggest problem we had was the smoke. The whole village was burning plants, trash and who knows what. The smoke doesn't seem to phase the people who live there but for visitors, more specifically Dan, it is hell. Dan's allergies went nuts. Couldn't wait to drug him and get him out.

So Sunday was my 35th birthday *gulp* (lol) and we found ourselves at Dr Boris's house JUST 2 DOORS DOWN FROM "FLOWER"!!!!! I wanted to yell out the car window but knew that would ruin any chance of us sneaking a visit. Sorry to those who are completely lost as to who "Flower" is. You'd have to go back to Blog posts from spring 2008 and work your way backwards, I suppose.

We tried to visit with her on Sunday with no success. I started to wonder if maybe she had come to believe lies that we don't want to see her or love her. We wanted so badly to see her but didn't want to force our will but trust God. Sveta would not take hearing any doubt or hesitation from us, she insisted that "Flower" would want to see us.

There's no real point in getting into details here about how we got to see her but we did for I don't know how long...maybe 15 minutes in the backseat of the car.

So for the first time in almost 3 years we got to see her, hug her and just reconfirm the feelings we knew we still and always will have for her.

The questions my email box and FB messages are being filled up with are:

Was she happy to see you? How did she react?
Yes. She went right to me for a hug, not a bit of hesitation. We were hugging before we could even get a look at each other. Sveta got a pic oh Dan and "Flower" hugging and she has a big smile on her face...me, standing thee with me hand to my face having an ugly cry. I couldn't stop myself. If I didn't hold back at all I probably would have been gasping for air but I was just shy of bawling that badly.

She's always been quiet and timid, in general so she hardly spoke a word. She looked at the little family photo album we brought and we showed her all the kids. Dan explained that we keep coming back for her and keep getting told "no". We told her over and over that we love her and will forever and we WILL get her home someday. She still wants that too.

Goodbye sucked! Sorry not a fan of that word but can't think of another that fits. I bawled even more. "Flower" had tears in her eyes but didn't cry. Wish I could have been strong for her but it was impossible.

Do you guys think you will be able to get her?
By the way things look and are now, we'd have to say "no" but we still have hope. We don't know when or how but we will get her home even if she us 18 and not legally our daughter. Right now I am praying for guidance and wisdom in this area as it is on my heart to plead to her foster mom to let us have contact again. We want to host her or find a way to bring her over on a student visa. So many people have said they've tried doing the student visa thing and it wouldn't work but I believe there are people who have been successful. Its probably time to look more closely into this but remember the foster mom is the first big hurdle. Perhaps I will go back in two weeks and cry on their doorstep. ;)

"Flower" has grown up so much. She is taller than me (though easy to achieve neither Yana or Olya are yet), maybe about 5'5.

She has a young womans body and beautiful long dark hair. Still looks the same but more mature. She's SO beautiful!!

Will I get to see her again before leave? I don't know. Of course I always want to hug her and be near her but the logistics are all so complicated. Tge visit would be short again. The language barrier leaves things quiet (except for the sound of my cry, oy!) so I don't know.

*sigh* I also wanted to post about the orphanage I toured there and our visit with "Joy" today but I'm worn out. I'll save that for another time.

Please pray for peace in "Flower's" heart tonight.

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Two Years Ago Today ...

2010-09-11T04:39:00.000-04:00

we were in Kharkov, just as we are now, in court adopting our sweet Nadia Hope. I am so truly blessed to be her mommy!!

Happy Nadia Day!!

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We Got a Court Date!

2010-09-10T05:29:00.000-04:00

Yay! We have a court date. Its not as soon as we'd like but considering what we've heard how this all could have played out (waiting 4-5 weeks) we are thankful.

Court is scheduled for Thursday Sept 16. Dan and Nadia will head for Kyiv after court and will visit the Embassy on Friday to complete some necessary documents and hopefully leave for home right after, which should have them arriving home on Friday as well.

In the meantime, we have friends in Kharkov Oblast that we hope to see and are even thinking about taking a surprise trip down to secretly visit "Flower". We'll see!

Thank you for your prayers, please continue to pray as we won't have the final court decree until Sept 27 and probably the 28th for her birth certificate so a positive vote on the moratorium could still shut things down for us. Pray for all the orphans and families waiting.

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A Time For Prayer

2010-09-09T14:41:00.000-04:00

No details to post yet but important happenings at 1am EST tonight. Please pray for favor and for Gods hand to be evident.

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You Are God Alone

2010-09-09T08:14:00.000-04:00

http://m.youtube.com/watch?gl=US&client=mv-google&hl=en&rl=yes&v=INKpqoxxWjA

This morning I woke up with this song on my heart. LOVE when He does that!
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From Yesterdays Car Ride

2010-09-09T07:50:00.000-04:00

...before she got her year shaved :)
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Thank You Ergo!

2010-09-09T05:15:00.000-04:00

Wow! What a great visit!!
I decided I would bring the Ergo Carrier and see if I could get "Joy" to go in up front. Once she was in I took her for a spin and she quickly became a fan. We rode the slide together and went for a walk.

It was incredible to have her right there so we could have eye contact. She couldn't run off but was basically forced (though she didn't fight it) to slow down and look at the flowers, touch the leaves, hear me voice in a calm quiet manner. I could touch her face and she mine. I could correct her hair pulling and head butting behavior easily and praise her for touching my hair and face gently...and for listening when I told her to let go.

It was also not so exausting, no need to chase her. It was a beautiful blessing and we'll be doing this as much as she'll let me.

As you probably can tell from todays photos, she got her hair cut...shaved rather. Yesterday they were shaving heads and asked if I wanted them to cut her hair. Well her hair was awful, more than a bad haircut but hair of the malnurished. I figured it would he better than fighting with her to cut her hair at home and we could just start new. So I had them shave it. She will be wearing plenty of dresses and girly clothes when she is with me so all will know she is a girl :)

Hoping to hear a positive update from Lena soon about hiring the attorney and / or getting a court hearing. Please keep praying.

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Peace Be Still

2010-09-08T15:35:00.001-04:00

Today we had a new first with "Joy". We took her for a ride in the taxi to get her passport photos and other documents taken care of for her passport (that's encouraging, right?)

She did not freak out like Nadia did her first car ride. What was so great was to have "Joy" in a completely different environment where she couldn't run off lol She definitely has behavior issues like a 2 year old with impulsive hitting behaviors and hair pulling (am I bald yet ha ha!) but we are soooo encouraged by how she handles correction even though she clearly does not like it.

We really feel that with our parenting experience of institutionalized children, all the reading and education we have gathered along the way with some amazing & struggling adoptive parents has really prepared for this. We feel extremely confident that we will be able to help "Joy" work through all of this. It will take time of course but we so look forward to seeing her blossom as our other kids have. Thank you Jesus for preparing us.

At this moment I feel peace about the adoption obstacles we have before us. This moratorium may be exactly why we ended up traveling a month before we requested. When we made the decision to accept this earlier date rather than rerequesting the later one, it was specifically because we knew we needed to put our trust completely in God, not any specific person. I believe God will honor that. Now that's not to say we will get what we wholeheartedly believe we want but rather it gives me comfort knowing we chose to trust Him rather than do our own thing which would have put us outside of His will.

We will continue to pray and take things moment by moment, looking only to Him. Isn't that what we are supposed to be doing anyway?

Loving "Joy" and looking forward to having her home.

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Trying Not To Panic

2010-09-08T13:13:00.001-04:00

From Konstantin:

Update on moratorium on international adoptions

by Konstantin Yakubenko on Wednesday, September 8, 2010 at 11:20am

.

Dear all, Ukrainian parliament is returned to work 2 days ago and today the official schedule of bills was published for September. The rumors that voting on moratorium on international adoptions are being confirmed: the voting to suspend international adoptions will take place between September 21 – 24, 2010. The language remains the same: introduce moratorium on int. adoptions with foreign countries which have not signed bilateral agreements with Ukraine specifying adoption procedures. United States has not signed such agreement yet. Who will be affected by moratorium (families with submitted dossiers or families already in country or families who had court hearing) is not clear yet.

As of today my guess whether moratorium will in fact be supported is 50%. Previous voting on the same subject with same language did not receive enough votes on June 1, 2010.

I hope to know more in coming days and if I get more news – I will share them. Thank you for keeping Ukrainian orphans who are hostages in political games in your prayers. K.

*********************

Meanwhile we are still waiting for a court date. All other documents and approvals have gone so perfectly. This district is VERY difficult so getting an expedited hearing (like most adoptions) is a challenge. Please continue to pray as if we don't have court this Friday (which would take a miracle at this point) we will not be out of our 10 days when they vote on the moratorium. WE REALLY NEED PRAYER! Yes we could go to court and still not be allowed to take our daughter home. I know God is not surprised and He holds all of this in Gus hands so whatever happens we will be okay but right now I want to know our baby will be coming home with us but we won't know that for weeks.

My heart is breaking and I won't lie I'm scared and tearful. Please be praying.

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Calling All Prayer Warriors!

2010-09-06T14:25:00.000-04:00

Good news...we have all of the local approvals to send our to Kyiv for the final approval before court. Yay!

Tomorrow our facilitator, Lena will meet with the judge in the morning. PLEASE PRAY we can schedule the court hearing for Friday and we will NOT need an attorney (they've been required here previously)

We really need to get Dan home as soon as possible to take care of our kids and go back to work.

We are told by our main facilitator that it is not probable that the judge would agree to a hearing on such short notice but we know its still very possible so please join us in PRAYER.

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This face!

2010-09-06T10:57:00.000-04:00

This is the pic I was trying to post earlier :)

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How Mama will never fix my hair!

2010-09-06T07:24:00.000-04:00

Gotta love the crazy baby house hair fashion ;)

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Papa move the seesaw!

2010-09-06T07:23:00.000-04:00

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Look at this face!

2010-09-06T07:21:00.000-04:00

Oh how I love her!

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I am...

2010-09-05T12:54:00.001-04:00

soooo in love.

Our visit today was short...just 45 minutes and only one visit. :(

We started the day off by joining new friends for church service this morning. The worship was AWESOME! It was very contemporary and a lot like home....I even recognized some of the songs! To see His light shining through so many Ukrainians was so stinkin' cool. This is a country full of people living really hard lives and you can often see it on the faces of the people out on the streets but in this church it was so very different. You could see Hope, Light and Love. It was powerful!

Being there, worshiping God, feeling & seeing the Holy Spirit it was just confirmed again and again that THIS is what we should be doing. That "Joy" is our girl and so many (her, us and many others) will be so blessed through this adoption. My heart was bursting with gratitude. I am SO incredibley grateful for this child....for all of my children.

After "Joy's" nap we were able to visit for a short while. When I walked up to the door of her group, I spotted her sitting in a little chair in a circle with the other kids and caregivers. As soon as she spotted me she started to squirm then cry. She was wanting to get up and run to me but knew she was supposed to stay in her seat. When the caregiver gave her the okay to go, she ran to me, smiling. Ahhh, I love this little girl.

Although our visit was short and the tearful goodbye is pain in my heart, I am filled with so much happiness for the time spent with her and seeing her understanding that I am hers. :)

God is sooo good. Thank you, Jesus!

Praying tomorrow is a success getting our documents and sending them off to Kyiv. We are also praying the meeting with the judge is encouraging as we hope to find out about the 10 days and schedule a court date. Please join us lifting these things in prayer.

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Clothing Sizes

2010-09-05T02:51:00.000-04:00

Just a quick note before we head to church...
I brought the size 3T dress we bought for "Joy" to our visit yesterday. I held it up to her and I think its going to fit great. I held up the 4T shirt and it was definitely big but we will roll the sleeves until we get home. Now I am really excited that the clothes I bought her will fit! I had bought the girls 4 matching dresses, tights, shirts and jackets. :)) How cute are they gpong to be!! :) I also brought a pair of Nadia's size 7 shoes that no longer fit her. They fit "Joy" pretty good...good enough to get her home, though she is probably really more like a 6.5.

I should add here that "Joy" seemed so much heavier and chubbier on our first visit....even in the pictures. Its really weird. We keep joking about her having lost 20 lb. We have no idea why...water retention?? Anyway, she's not so incredibley heavy or chubby. Don't know what that was all about.

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More than one title

2010-09-04T16:08:00.001-04:00

Not sure if I should title this post:
"I've Been Claimed"
or
"If I Believed in Karma..."

Today I had two fabulous visits with our girl. Our morning visit alone was wonderful. With each visit I am seeing more encouraging behavior and ....well, its been like watching a flower blossom. So beautiful.

When I arrive she reaches up for me (makes me smile just typing this, as I see her pictured in my mind). We spent our morning visit on the smaller playground alone. She and I got into a routine where she'd walk across the "bridge" of the playset, stopping at each slot to peek out to me and I would reach up and tickle her head. Then she's go to the top of the slide and stick her head out so I could tickle her neck. She just laughed and laughed. Absolutely precious! We did this over and over. She instantly picked up on "if I do this, she will do this". It was fun and very sweet.

When it was time for her to go in for lunch she cried. She didn't want to leave me. My heart broke for her.

This afternoon Dan and Nadia joined me for the visit. "Joy" was so snuggley. She also did much better with her interactions with Nadia, playing on the seesaw with her and swinging on the swing next to her.

She enjoyed doing each thing on the playground but we have to be careful because one the seesaw she would just decide to stand up on it without warning. While swinging she decided to just hop off mid swing and land flat on her face, arms and legs straight out. She about gave me heart failure. Dan says she is much faster than I am used to. LOL He's right. So she started to cry. Of course I picked her up, dusted her off and held her close to me right away. She calmed down quickly but seemed to enjoy the closeness and stayed there for a while, while I sat on the bench rocking her and kissing her.

Later Nadia was upset about something so I had her on my lap, hugging and rocking her too. "Joy" was looking like "hey! That's mine!" and had to climb up too LOL (Dan has pics but they're on the camera). It was funny how she just wanted to climb up so fast but wasn't sure how to do it so she tried throwing a leg up, didn't get her there fast enough so she quickly tried going flat on her belly over my knees...that didn't work so she bent over backwards in my legs...just squirming around trying climb up. She is soooo cute. With help, she finally got up and claimed her spot with Nadia. She stayed there for a while then decided to take the spot next to me on the bench and nuzzle into my body under my arm. Once I put Nadia on the bench, UP "Joy" jumped to take her spot. Ha ha! She knows where she wants to be. I have been claimed!

Now for the "karma". I don't believe in karma but if I did, I'd say Nadia is experiencing it now. As wonderful as Nadia is, around my teens she can be snotty sometimes. Anthony is obviously challenged when it comes to keeping his hands off Nadia. He just loves her so much he always wants to hug her or pet her head. Well a lot of times Nadia is just plain mean to him (he can be a pain by not respecting her "no" so they are both to blame) and she will reach out and scratch him. But now Nadia is getting a taste of her own medicine. She LOVES her "little sister". But much like a 2 year old, "Joy" will hit or pull hair for no reason. If I see she is a about to I can catch her arm pretty quick (which she thinks is funny) but Nadia has gotten hit (not hard) and her hair yanked. Of course her feelings get hurt. I have explained to her that this is a lot like what she does to Anthony with the scratching and just like Anthony she loves her little sister and it hurts her feelings when she does this....just like it hurts Anthony's feelings. Interesting to watch Nadia process these thoughts. Looks like she has just learned a big lesson. So while I do not allow "Joy" to do these things to Nadia nor do I want Nadia to get hit (even of its not hard enough to hurt) I think this lesson is a good one. I don't believe in karma but I certainly believe God has a lesson for each of us in everything. :)

Our second visit of the day also ended in tears...both "Joy" and me. She wrapped her arms and legs around me tighter and began to cry as I had to hand her over. Again my heart broke. I told Dan I don't think I can do this for 3 more weeks. He said I have to. I know he's right but *sigh* Lord, give me the strength and protect our baby girl. I am so in love.

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Repost

2010-09-04T02:32:00.000-04:00

Ok, I'm finding it odd that 2 people mentioned not being able to tell the girls apart in the last few uploads. I am wondering if it has anything to do with the quality of the photos. Its hard to tell from my BlackBerry but I sent "smaller" images hoping they would upload faster but they look like they still post at the same size as when I email "larger" images....so maybe they're not so good. In any case, here they are again.

Then off to see our baby girl. We've decided I'll make the morning visit alone today and we'll all go together after her nap time. This way Nadia has time to chill. She is not a napper but is falling asleep on every car and bus ride (I've still been pretty tired too). Also it will give "Joy" and I time to hang out without me trying to juggle Nadia's needs for attention...which can be a challenge when "Joy" wants to walk up and down the hilly grounds, picking up apples and Nadia wants to be pushed on the swing. I am thankful Dan is here for this adoption.

I'm really torn on whether it is best for both girls if Nadia stays after court or heads back with Dan. I have reasons for thinking either way has its reasons for being the better. My lack of care for Nadia at home when Dan goes back to work is also a big factor. *sigh* Well, wouldn't it be fabulous if we got the 10 says waived and I could send Nadia back with Dan, and "Joy" & I could be home just a week later? Praying praying praying that God will work out these details too and give us the wisdom and support we would need to do His will.

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Oh, and baby proofing!

2010-09-03T12:22:00.001-04:00

Something we failed to think of before is the need for baby proofing the house. Dan will definitely need to put locks on cabinets when he gets home. We will also need to pick up a few child safety gates to help us from having to chase her down the hall for a while. I especially think they would be helpful when we are homeschooling in the kitchen. She would surely just throw a leg up like she is going to climb over (as we witnessed her doing today in other situations) but it should at least slow her down. :))

You know, I've had a fleeting moment or two here when I've thought "what was I thinking? This is going to be a lot of work on top of an already busy life" but then I remember that I wasn't thinking. That's not as bad as it sounds...its just that I know what God has called us to do and instead of "thinking" I just "trusted". Its obvious His hand is in this or there would be no way we would even be here right now, for multiple reasons. So I am going to continue to trust and not waste time thinking about how much work this might take. God has always blessed us and given us so much more than we could have ever imagined when we trusted Him so why would I start doubting Him now.

Our documents have moved on and we are told that there is a 99% chance they will be ready on Monday. They then will need to go to the SDA and we will be praying they would be ready Wed because then we can go to court. Please continue to pray for God to remove all the obstacles, clear the path and may His will be done!

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She's already proving me wrong :)

2010-09-03T11:25:00.000-04:00

We just had an awesome visit with "Joy". We spent the whole time alone with her, with some of that time out on the play ground.

When she first saw us she was trying to get away from her groupa to get to us...she seemed to know we were there for her (or maybe she just likes visitors lol). When they brought her out, I reached for her and she kept backing away. When I finally caught her she started crying and squirming until I let the caregiver hold her. But once we went into the seperate room (just Dan, Nadia, "Joy" and I) there was no more crying.

She took a short while to warm up, she would back or scoot away when we reached towards her but by the time we were getting ready to head outside she wanted to hug me and not let go. Yes, she completely melted my heart.

So she likes to be tickled and turned upside down. She is actually pretty smart. I showed her the family picture and told her who everyone was. Then I was asking her (in Russian) "where's Papa?" and "where's Nadia" etc. She did perfectly pointing to each of us (I stuck to just asking about the 3 of us that were there). But using the pictures I asked where the cat was and the chickens and she would point them out. Honestly, 2 yrs ago when we came for Nadia she wouldn't or couldn't do that.

She is a silly girl and wants to do what we tell her not to (like eat the bubbles), she thinks she is funny...and she is.

I am really encouraged by her responses to my sorry Russian :) I am already believing my assumption that she will have a rough time because of the language barrier may be a bit off. Of course the more alone time we get with her here, the easier the transition should be later.

As far as clothing size...I'm thinking she is a 3-4T. 4 will definitely be too long...she may truly be a 3 but I guess I won't know until I try something on her. Perhaps I will bring a dress for her to model on our next visit.

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Our Baby Girl!

2010-09-02T11:22:00.000-04:00

We met our baby girl!!

I'm absolutely exhausted, I hardly slept on the train. So I have no doubt this post will not include all I intend for it to. I will try to hit the main points and not worry about making it fluffy or flowery :))

"Joy" is adorable. Her caregivers quite obviously care very much for her and could not stop saying wonderful things about her.

They woke her from her nap when we got there so while she was not cranky, we are not sure yet her temperament when she is rested. She let both Dan and I put her on our laps. They said she loves to be hugged and cuddled ...and isn't afraid of men. Praise God! :))

Nadia adored her and instead of calling her by name would mostly just call her "little sister". Very cute. Nadia was a real trooper. "Joy" did mess Nadia's hair, pull off her glasses and somewhat bonk her on the head with a toy (not all at the same time). She didn't act vicious, just like she needs to be taught not to do that. I found it most interesting that I was the only one correcting this behavior and telling her "nyet" even though we were surrounded by caregivers. Nadia was very understanding and ready to teach her little sister proper behavior and everything else she can think of :))

According to her caregivers, "Joy" loves to help clean up and help other kids and adults. She eagerly assisted, without being asked, with taking Nadia's jacket off. It was very sweet.

She is somewhat potty trained...does not say when she needs to go but does well when taken periodically.

She says a few words (we did not hear any) but not full sentences yet (we didn't except she would).

She can dress herself and helps other kids get dressed that need help. She can go potty herself as well but I assume this is in a little potty/bucket and figure there most likely is not toilet paper involved. Just my guesses.

She seemed to be a little confused as to what to do but we TOTALLY can understand....she was just awoken from her nap, in a room full of adults all looking at her, some speaking a language she does not know and 2 caregivers talking over each other trying to tell us how wonderful she is. However, it was impressive how well she followed directions when the caregivers gave them. She really seemed to be comfortable and enjoy being instructed in what to do (get a specific toy, play with a toy, clean up, etc).

This will be our 5th child we are adopting from Ukraine and this is the first time I feel like my Russian is very insufficient. Maybe its me, maybe I am underestimating her ability to pick up on the things I say and understand but I just feel like she does SO well with instruction that I am missing something she desperately needs. Its for that reason alone I am thinking we will probably have a very rough beginning. I hate that she will have to deal with needing to learn a new language. I pray that I am underestimating her abilities...because truly, how could I possibly know.

She is active....not hyper but active. We laugh now how much she'll keep me moving but seriously, I will be relying on God (and the help of our family...in our home) to keep up with her or at least keep her in a secure area of the house so she is safe not running off to do whatever.

Also, kind of funny, I don't know if its just because I am used to Nadia having CP with spasticity but "Joy" seems incredibley limber! Is that a Down syndrome thing? It was like she'd casually just through her legs into a split/straddle position to sit and play with the toys. It was just so funny to me how flexible she is.

She is a heavy girl. She is much shorter than Nadia but compact! I am hoping the clothes I brought will fit her. If anything I think they should at least fit well enough to get us home.

Well, we are in love and ready to get her home. As I type this we are waiting at the notary to complete some documents. We are hopeful that there will be no delays and we can have court date next Thursday or Friday. Of course we will be requesting the 10 day wait to be waived after the hearing but expect it is not likely.

So here are the 2 pics I can post of our baby girl. She was moving around, looking down at the toys, etc too much to get any other good shots of her from my phone (which is slow to snap a picture). Dan got a few good ones on the camera but they won't be uploaded until we get home.

Oh and we had a question about her birthday which of course has now been answered. Its pretty cool that Ivan and Anthony have Dec 94 / Jul 95 birthdates and Nadia and "Joy" have Dec 04 / Jul 05 birthdates. :)

I MUST sleep tonight. The car will be here for us at 8:30 in the morning for us and take us right to the orphanage.

God is good...all the time! <3

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We're moving on!

2010-09-01T11:05:00.001-04:00

With her referral now in hand, we are ready to head to Kharkov!

Our bags are packed nd we are ready to go. Our train does not leave until 10:29 PM so I need to stay awake until then...which isn't easy as this jet lag will not let me escape its grip. So I'm drinking tea and trying to hang on until then.

Not much else to post right now. We are VERY happy and anxious to meet our baby girl.

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@ the cafe in Independence Square

2010-08-31T03:57:00.000-04:00

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Successful SDA Appointment!!

2010-08-31T02:42:00.001-04:00

More later but wanted to share (for you insomniacs) we had a successful appointment. I am SO happy. Seeing her pictures just melted my heart. Never did we get to see more than one pic at the SDA and they had 3 for "Joy". 2 were as recent as 2009 and the other was from 2006. LOVED seeing her smile!! In one pic her eyes reminded me of someone very dear to me, who we intend to name her after. I don't know...I didn't expect it nor did I see it in any of the pics but in this one I did. Wow, what that did to my heart.

We have train tickets to leave tomorrow night but are praying we will have her referral in hand today and change our tickets to tonight.

I am one happy mama!

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From our balcony

2010-08-30T07:17:00.000-04:00

This post is for those who have yet to visit Kyiv and for those with fond memories of their travels here :)

From one room we can see the top of St Sophia's (if we look right we can see a bit of St Andrews....right by the SDA...not in picture)

From the other balcony we can see Independence Square. (see the tall statue and the glass building, windows surrounding it).

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And...I survived!

2010-08-30T05:36:00.001-04:00

Thank you for your prayers. I am doing sooo much better. Other than feeling like I'm sweating in the inside, I feel back to "normal".

Dan suggested it was probably food poisoning. He said he wasn't feeling so hot getting on the second flight either but he has all of his parts, my body is working with less so maybe I wasn't able to overcome it as easily. In any case, it looks like I'm going to make it.

Shortly we will be moving to a new apartment closer to Independence Square. This one here is on the outskirts and is so very inexpensive (the other is not so pricey either) but the bed just isn't gonna cut it for the next 2 nights.

Tomorrow at 9am (2am EST) we have our appt at the SDA. Please be praying for favor and no obstacles in receiving "Joy's" referral. We already have our train tickets to her for Wed night....we opted for the overnight train. Praying all will continue to fall into place.

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In Kyiv needing prayer

2010-08-29T13:51:00.001-04:00

This will be short...

I have not been sick or having issues with upper digestive gas (I take meds for this since my surgery in Jan 08). Aside from being sad to leave the kids, I was feeling great this morning.

We had our first flight from Charlotte to Munich (8hr) leaving at 5:30PM. There was a little boy that screamed for about 7 hours of the flight....earplugs didn't help enough. The flight was otherwise uneventful.

Our layover in Munich was 4 hours. I was exhausted. I spent pretty much the while time sleeping (not uninterrupted however) across a few chairs. About 30 min before we were supposed to board our next flight I woke up and pain quickly set in....and I do mean pain. On a scale from 1-10 I was probably at 8.5. I felt like my torso was on fire from the inside out. It was probably the worst gas pain I have felt since recovering from surgery. There would be no way I could get on our next flight...and that worried the heck out of me.

I hadn't missed my meds but quickly took one. When Dan asked how long it would take to work and I didn't have an answer I decided to take another pill of a different kind for the same thing. Surely one of them would keep me from missing our flight.

I don't think it was the med combo but now I have to wonder, but I also felt like I was going to be sick...like totally lose it, not just nauseas. I walked and prayed and begged God to help me. The pain eased enough so I could get on the plane...which had been delayed at least another 20 min by then.

I had Dan sit between Nadia and I so I would try to sleep. It seemed to be the only way to escape my torture.

We made it Kyiv and I was better than in Munich but still not doing well and hurting. I was thankful when we were settled enough in our apt so I could take a scolding hot shower. Such baths were the only thing that seemed to offer any relief, though only temporary, after surgery.

I showered, put on my eye mask and went to sleep (this bed is awful by the way, hoping to move tomorrow). I was freezing! I put on a sweater, socks and Dan covered me with a blanket. I stayed freezing most of the time then suddenly was hot as heck. I'd reach out my arm for a second then would freeze again. I have lost track of time so not sure how long this went on for.

Then about 30 min ago I woke up just knowing I was going to be sick....and I was right. There are 2 symptoms I never have, that I always say be worried if I have either and throwing up (not to mention the fun of dry heaving) is one.

The good news is while I am not 100% and I still hurt, I do feel a lot better and am putting some food in my stomach.

I write all of this to ask you for prayers. I won't be able to stay here like this and I can't imagine having to come home because of this...I desperately need your prayers.

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Really Going Back Tomorrow??

2010-08-27T17:19:00.001-04:00

Am I really headed back to Ukraine tomorrow? I've only been back 9 months!

This adoption has certainly gone faster and smoother than any of our others. I'm praying it will continue that trend but I've yet to see any adoption play out that way from start to finish. I've always said of you're going to have problems you want them while you're still stateside. Please please please be praying for us in Ukraine.

It is really so soon to be leaving Ivan and Olya for so long. I know they are older, will be with Yana & Anthony and staying in our home AND Dan will be coming home after court (prayerfully that will be in 2 wks) but its still hard on them. Please keep all of our babies in prayer, I hope to be home with them (and our newest addition) quickly.

Well, I'm all packed and ready to go. I think I'm still a bit in shock or denial about us leaving tomorrow. I have done all the pre-travel prep but its hard to imagine us heading to UA tomorrow, the SDA Tuesday and (prayerfully) meeting Joy by this time next week!!

Are we excited? I am, somewhat. Dan will be once we are with her. I think we are both just so aware of all the uncertainties in Ukrainian adoptions that we hesitate to celebrate too soon. I so dislike that about UA adoptions...I mean, we are "in labor", we should be able to enjoy and find joy in the process but while we are trusting God to lead us and care for us, we cannot completely disregard what we have learned, witnessed and experienced over the last nearly 6 yrs adopting from there.

Please pray God will prepare "Joy's" heart to receive us as her family. I always do my best to mentally prepare for the potential child's lack of enthusiasm but thankfully have yet to experience that. Dan, on the other hand, says he will be thankful enough if she doesn't scream bloody murder of he comes "too close" (as Nadia did the first 2 months). Its kind of funny to me to type that but truthfully that had to be incredibly hurtful (although he knew better than to take it personally) and not something he (nor I) care to experience again.

Time to kick back for our last night home. Looking forward to finding out what God has planned ahead!

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We Should Be Private Now...

2010-08-25T16:42:00.002-04:00

Well, if I did this right, we should be private now and hopefully I didn't leave anyone out that requested access. I had some technical difficulties and had lost the list of names and email addresses, so had to go back and recreate the list.

In any case, we leave in just 3 days. I thought we needed a month to take care of everything that needed to be done over the last week. Ha! Did I forget how awesome our God is?! Seriously, we just need to put our things in our bags and pick up the cash from the bank and we are good to go! I'm feeling SO ready!

Thank you for all your prayers and those yet to be prayed for us through out the rest of this process. I hope our prayer warriors are ready because we're going to UKRAINE!!! :))

Going Private

2010-08-21T22:44:00.001-04:00

I will be making our Blog private again, for our trip. If you would like an invite, please send me your email address (and tell me who you are and share your Blog address, if I do not know you).

Please understand that I may not send an invite to all who request. I hope no one takes it personally, I just want to feel confident that our adoption will not have any difficulties because of my blogging.

We have our plane tickets, travel insurance and are quickly going through our long list of preparations before leaving next Saturday. We have been blessed over and over again. We are SO incredibly grateful that our dear friends, Teal and Kristin, will be stepping in in our absence and caring for our teens in our home while we are away. I am so so soooo thankful. Praise God!

Sent from my Verizon Wireless BlackBerry