Prayers for "Flower"

This is going to be a hard post to write. I just drove home, alone, from dropping Anthony off for his SAT testing and took that opportunity to be in prayer and fellowship with God. Where it lead was not at all what I had been expecting, nor did I anticipate so many tears.

The truth is, we need prayers for "Flower. For those who have not followed our blog through the years, you may need to read back to understand our journey with "Flower." Someday I'll write a post with all of the specific links to to help people read through that journey. In short, she is the little girl we met from Yana's orphanage at age 9, pursued for adoption and lost her more than once due to Ukrainian document (her file) issues, then foster care. We have hosted her twice and visited her in Ukraine while adopting. In our hearts, she IS our daughter. In her heart, WE ARE her family.

We need prayer now because she will be 16 in August (she shares a birthday with "Piper"). While we do not have it all figured out as to how to get her out of foster care, we have some ideas. However, in order for us to pursue any of those ideas, we need to file an I600 before her birthday. It would be best if we have I600a APPROVAL before her birthday as well to be sure nothing stops that door from staying open. The I600 filing and I600a approval before her 16th birthday would leave the door open for us to find a way to adopt her for another year! Without it, all chances are gone.

I won't go into detail now but I believe God promised me that she would be with us. Over the years, I've convinced myself that sometimes God does not mean on this side of Heaven and have been okay with that, although without certainty that that is the case, I have not given up. We promised her we never would.

It's been EXTREMELY difficult for our family, over the years, dealing with all of the obstacles and separateness from her. Praying fervently is no longer possible because it is sooo painful. I pray about it periodically and have to trust that the Lord knows and leave it at that.

The thought of still needing something like $6400 right now to travel in a few weeks to meet the little girls, then coming home and needing another $670 right away to file for their I800 AND needing probably $1500 for a homestudy update and I600a IMMEDIATELY due to lack of time before "Flower's" 16th birthday, is overwhelming. I just cannot even allow myself to think about it, because it's too big! The thought of it all causes a tremendous crushing feeling on my chest and shoulders. But today, I did cry out to the Lord and pleaded with Him to please lift this burden TODAY. We need these funds!

I know God has a plan. I know its all about growing our faith. I know His will will happen in His perfect timing. But I'm telling you, I cannot pray or think about this regularly. I just can't. I won't be able to breath.

So please please please! Will you pray for "Flower" for us? The prayers need to be going up, time is running out. I don't know what God's plan is. It all seems like so much, too much but I know our God is huge. I know that anything is possible, so I refuse to give up hope.

I've never posted pictures of her before on here but this one time (until she is ours or an adult), I will.

Spring 2006 at the orphanage (she's on the right)

Age 9

Summer 2006 in Ohio (me and "Flower"...ignore my awful hair and shiney face)

A few weeks shy of 10

Winter 2006/2007 during hosting with us (with Papa)

Age 10

Winter 2006/2007 during hosting with us (with Yana)

Age 10

Winter 2006/2007 during hosting with us (with Chris, Anthony and Yana)

Age 10

Winter 2006/2007 during hosting with us (with Papa)

Age 10

Winter 2006/2007 during hosting with us (with Samantha)

Age 10

Winter 2006/2007 during hosting with us (with Anthony)

Age 10

Winter 2006/2007 during hosting with us (kisses with Mama)

Age 10

Winter 2007/2008 Our Home (with Yana)

Age 11

Fall 2010 in Ukraine (with Mama & Papa)

Age 14