Fixed Comment Permissions

Colleen let me know she was unable to leave a comment. I have fixed the permissions and you should all be able to now. Thanks Colleen!

Sorry about that : )

Revin & Ready To Go!

Well, in just a few minutes (I hope), it should just be me, you and 60 of our closest friends :) Did you just hear the sound of the iron gates as they closed? LOL

So last night I was so happy that I was ready to fall asleep by 10:00 (actually ready by 9:00 but the kids were giving me a back & foot massage and wouldn’t stop clowning around and take it seriously lol). I got 5 good hours of sleep then from 3-7am I tossed, turned and thought about some very special little people in Ukraine.

My alarm didn’t go off at 8:30, like I thought I had set it to, so when the doorbell rang at
9:15 (the A/C repair guy because, of course, our A/C crashed 2 days ago) I jumped out of bed and fumbled around the bathroom trying to quickly get dressed and out to the living room. Luckily, Dan was home (he works nights) and fell asleep on the couch because Yana was sleeping in his spot :) I hurried to take my acid reflux meds. (which I always can feel is much needed when I 1st wake-up), which got stuck in my throat, so when I brushed my teeth I gagged and dry heaved over the toilet. Funny thing is, this reminded me of morning sickness I had while pregnant with Anthony (and post-surgery but it was more fun to think about pregnancy). While this was not fun, it seemed so fitting. It is only right that I get my share of morning sickness before “birthing” a whole herd of kids, right? LOL

So, that was my body’s way of telling me to SLOW DOWN! And I did. Yana heard the commotion and was worried about me. So I let her in the bathroom and we sat on the floor together until I was ready to start moving again. Boy, was I exhausted. I have been weaning myself off coffee, mostly because it really gets my acid reflux going but I also don’t want to have caffeine withdrawals in Ukraine. However, when Yana offered to make my coffee this morning, I decided it would be okay just for today. Well, I’m not sure what she did but I am zooming! I guess I should be able to get a lot accomplished today lol NOTE: okay, you read about my kids giving me massages, making coffee and although I haven’t posted about it yet, they even cleaned my floors on their hands & knees the other day (Gale’s suggestion LOL). It sounds like I really work my kids but I promise you, I don’t work them hard enough. And in all 3 of those things, they loved every minute of it! Weird, I know! LOL

Well, our bags are mostly packed (just need make-up and things of that sort) and only a few more things to take care of around the house (like taking out the garbage), then we are out of here. We are headed to my parents’ place for the night and will head to the airport in the morning from there. On the way to Mom & Dad’s we will be stopping by the Moorhead’s home for prayer and encouragement; we are so grateful for such wonderful friends.

I wanted to share about the oatmeal but I will save that for another post, maybe tonight. This one has gotten long and I probably lost most of you by now :) I do want to ask for prayer over the most recent request submitted to the SDA (State Department of Adoptions in Ukraine, for those new to the blog) for Vitali (previously known as “Handsome guy without a blog name”) and Anya (known as “Love”). This request should have been submitted today.

Lastly, when we get to Ukraine on Sunday we will buy a new Sim Card for our cell phone (our old one mostly likely has expired). I will add our phone number on the sidebar then. Also, we are setup for SightSpeed (like Skype) so for those of you who have the ability to use that too and want to get in touch with us that way, my email is MychelleOK@aol.com

Please DO post comments throughout this journey. Your prayers and encouragement are much needed! Comments will not be moderated before posting any longer, so please be thoughtful in what you post or I will have to give you the boot ;) God bless!

Where Your Heart Belongs

Last night when I went to bed, since I woke up this morning and so far all of today I have had the chorus of this song playing over and over in my head. It is exactly what I need to hear right now.

Unfortunately it is not on Playlist.com, so I couldn't add it to my blog but you can listen to it here http://www.myspace.com/mainstay

Where Your Heart Belongs - Mainstay

You lost yourself in finding out
The wonders of the world
Will let you down
You gave yourself to those who never
Cared about your soul
They only cared for their own
Seems everyone has left you

You're not alone
I hear you call
And I've been waiting here for you
Through it all
You're not alone
Come to the cross
Let me show you where your heart belongs
You're not alone

You went down the darkest roads
And I know just how it feels to lose your home
But don't give up on everything
When everyone has given up on you
And it feels like everyone has left you

You're not alone
I hear you call
I've been waiting here for you
Through it all
You're not alone
Come to the cross
Let me show you where your heart belongs
You're not alone

I will never leave you
Come back to open hands
To the only love you need

You're not alone
I hear you call
And I've been waiting here for you
Through it all
You're not alone
Come to the cross
Let me show you where your heart belongs

You're not alone
You're not alone
You're not alone

Got To Be Kidding Me!!

We called a good friend,in the town where “faith” resides, to let her know that we will be unable to adopt her due to an issue with her documents but that we would still be coming to visit. It turns out, although well intentioned, she made a BIG mistake and told “Faith” we were coming to adopt her! They had taken her to the Dr. and got her all prettied up for our upcoming arrival!! I have no doubt what-so-ever that this was all well intentioned but we purposely did not attempt any contact with “Faith” (even when a friend suggested) because we know how things work in Ukraine (you cannot guarantee anything). I feel like I have been kicked in the gut. WHY!! Why do these children have to go through all of this suffering? That’s the part I don’t understand. It stinks for us not to get these girls but my real pain comes when I think of THEIR loss, THEIR hurts, THEIR hopes, THEIR dreams.

I have no idea how this story will end, but I have to believe that God has taken care of all the details. He knows what is best and while the enemy does not want any of these children to become a part of a Christian family, God will only allow so much, His will be done! Please pray for all of these children, it is ALL about them. We are just trying to be obedient and follow where we are led, insistent on not trying to force our own will (though I’m sure from a distance it may appear that way to some).

Today I feel like I want to quit. Not just walk away from adopting, because that would not heal my bleeding heart today but just turn the lights off and pull the covers up over my head. I don’t understand why it has to be so painful for these children. I don’t understand why it has to be so hard to give these children (older older children at that) a loving home and a family (something everyone should have). God, let all this suffering not be in vain; be glorified in all of this!

Really? It’s Thursday?!

Wow! Right up until 5:00 this evening I REALLY thought it was Wednesday! I was in denial too when I learned it was Thursday, I had to call my mom and check! LOL What a weird feeling it is when you are off a day. I feel like someone stole a day from me but no complaints here; it means we are one day closer to traveling than I thought!

So as we near travel it is time to make sure all is in order. As far as this blog, we WILL be going private for our trip. Have no fear, my faithful readers, encouragers, friends and prayer warriors, you are welcome to request an invite. Please email me and I will put together a list of emails to send invites to. MychelleOK@aol.com If I am not familiar with your name please just give me an idea of who you are (i.e. someone who “know’s” us through one of the children we have been praying to adopt, a long time blog follower, another adoptive family with a blog – please share your blog address, FRUA friend).

Today we joined the YMCA. We have been waiting a few weeks for them to have the NO JOINING FEE special and today was the day (well, one of the days). It’s so much cheaper now that we are not in Charlotte. For a region-wide membership, there is only one fee for the whole family REGARDLESS of the amount of children in your family (that’s great for a growing family). As homeschooolers we do not participate in a PE program but I want us all to be sure to get enough exercise (and play). Anthony, Yana & I had a good time today. I figured with time flying by so fast (little did I know at the time it had flown so fast I missed a day), that it’s a good time to workout. You know when time is flying, that a one hour workout doesn’t seem so long. I am also hoping that it will help relieve all this stress.

So now we need to focus on cleaning out closets and bedrooms; this way when Dan returns home after court, he can buy some beds for our newest additions and put them in place without having to move around a whole mess of junk. Both Anthony and Yana’s rooms need painting. When we bought this house last November, we had plans to paint the WHOLE thing. However, when cancer, surgery and adoption are in the mix, things get put on hold. I would like the kids’ rooms to be in order so when “Love” and “Handsome guy without a blog name” come home, the kids can figure out what colors they want to paint the rooms and we will put them to work. Ha! That is a scary thought.

I almost ended this entry without sharing about how Anthony & Yana are handling all these changes in plans. When we first learned we could not adopt “Faith”, I asked the kids if they thought we should adopt other kids. Right away Anthony was ready for us to find more kids in Ukraine. Yana, however, wanted us to just get “Hope” then adopt from the U.S. Both kids are now excited about “Love” and “Handsome guy without a blog name” (sorry, nothing feels right and the great reveal should happen fairly soon anyway).
When we were in the store today, I was talking about needing to exchange a girl thing I bought for a boy thing because I would not be bringing home as many girls as we had planned. Anthony said, “What about [“Flower”]?” I thought to myself, “Have these kids not been listening? How many times have I tried to explain it just doesn’t look like it is going to work out?” So I said something to that effect, but nicer and he replied, “I know but I just haven’t given up hope.” …what more can I say after that.

We Were Down But NOT Out!

Well, we have picked ourselves up and prayed for God’s guidance (not done with that part yet) & put together a new plan. (Don’t let the word “plan” scare you; we are trying to still remain flexible).

While we have heard about a whole ton of beautiful and amazing children that are in need of homes in Ukraine, there is one boy/girl sibling group that has grabbed our attention. I will only share that the girl is 11 and the boy is 13. Do I dare give them “names”? :) Hmmm, how about “Love” for the girl (following nicely behind Hope & Faith lol) and what to call the boy….nothing sweet and girly…how ‘about….hmmm…yeah, how ‘bout YOU give me some ideas? LOL Yeah, post your ideas, ‘cause I got nothin’!

While we will not forget about the lovely young ladies we will have to sadly leave behind (for now…who knows what the future holds), it is exciting to imagine another boy and another girl, roughly the same ages as Anthony and Yana, in the family. They will be sharing bedrooms with their new siblings (same sex only, of course), so that should be fun…and an interesting new experience! :) I’m trying not to get too excited because there is SO much potential for it not to work out BUT we should have a much better idea 2 weeks from now, right?

Dan and I have agreed that we are not going to force this. We will request their referrals when we get there and if things work out AWESOME and if not, we will bring “Hope” home and adopt later from foster care (unless of course God does something completely unexpected, then anything could happen).

Now, I am going to try to work on calming my anxiety. I don’t mentally feel anxious but my body is definitely acting out under this pressure. While Dan’s body isn’t reacting in the same ways as mine, it is also acting out under all this stress. Prayerfully this will all pass quickly.

In Shock!

Well, MUCH to our surprise "Faith" is NOT available for adoption. :( Something is wrong with her paperwork (most likely she just was not registered properly as all of her sisters who have not aged out have been adopted already). Boy, are we glad we did not make any contact with her to lead her to believe we would be coming for her.

So here we sit wondering what God's plan is. We thought for sure we heard and followed his call. Do we request different children? Do we ask for a blind referral of a single child? of a sibling group? Do we request another "known" child? Do we adopt only "Hope" and adopt from foster care in the U.S. later? What?

Again, let me be clear, we are very much in shock and do not know what to do. Over the past month or so, our hearts have opened up to consider adopting an older boy, perhaps 13-14 yr old. Anthony really wants a brother. We heard about a boy that was hosted by a family that has no interest in adopting, that is said to be a very sweet, mellow 14 year old. I think if we go for an older boy we would probably see about this boy, since we have SOME idea about how he is. I am hesitant to bring some random teenage boy into the house, just because you just don't know what they have been exposed to. And in all honesty, pretty much all the boys Dan saw at the internot, while adopting Yana, seemed to be like wild animals.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I know we want a ton of kids. I know our hearts were prepared to bring home 3. So to bring home just one more just doesn't seem right. It feels weird. I don't know, maybe that is the way it is supposed to be ??? Yet, if we intend to adopt more, why not adopt them from Ukraine now, while we are there and are feeling ready?

What to do :( Please pray that God will lead and we will obediently follow. Grrrr...does hearing and following have to be so difficult.

In other news, we spoke with our darling "Flower". She sounds very well. We spoke for 30 minutes, it was nice. Good news she was told that we are not allowed to call or send packages, so she knows it is not us abandoning her. She knows we hope to see her when we are there.

More good news, we received a very generous, unexpected donation today in the mail. God bless you!!

Also, I know I put the poll up about the tax deductible donation and I was going to get your input before deciding what to do but we decided to just go ahead and set it up for "Hope". It was really easy, so we figured "why not?" I will add a link on the side of our blog a little later but for now if you'd like to donate to "Hope's" adoption (tax deductible donation) please visit http://www.reecesrainbow.org/sponsorhills.htm These donations will stay with "Hope". Should anything happen where we are unable to adopt her, these donations will not go to our family but will go to the family who is able to adopt her.

I Added A Poll

Just FYI, I added a poll because I want your input (look to the right above our pics). We have the opportunity to setup a tax deductible donation account, but are not sure that at this point it would be of any use. Please vote and let us know, your vote is private, I will not know who voted what.

Thanks!

Look Who I Found!

I won't get into the long story how I found her there but will share who I found & where.

By God-incidence, I found "Hope" on the Reese's Rainbow website under "Other Angels". Actually, I was corresponding with RR and putting 2 & 2 together we figured out this is the same child we are going to adopt. She has since been moved to "My Forever Family Found Me" at the bottom of the Other Angels page. http://www.reecesrainbow.org/angelgirls.htm I figure if she is on there, then I can share the link from here this one time :)

On that page she is listed by a different name, she is listed as "Katya". The truth is, that is not her name.

What is so incredible is that this is a much more recent picture than the picture we have. This website also has a lot more information about her situation than we had. The info we had was extremely vague, but we chose to move forward on faith alone. It is exciting to hear how well she is doing, although it is obvious there will be lots of work (possibly even surgery), and therapy to get her up and walking. Aside from that awful orphanage haircut, she is a real cutie!!!

In other news, we still do not have any updates on our request for "Faith's" referral. We got approval for "Hope" super fast but things have slowed down again, I guess.

In "Flower" news, my friend called the foster family again. They said maybe in 2 months we could have contact again and it has now been 2 months since they said this. Well, they gave us permission to call on her birthday (which is very soon) but no further contact. We are working out a plan of exactly what to say as there are things she needs to understand and things she needs not to know, because she needs to live in that home (I guess) and we do not want to upset her situation there.

Well, the final countdown to leave is coming upon us quickly (though not quick enough). I have updated the FundTracker and continue to pray for God's provision. We just want to go get our girls and get on with life already, you know? Keeping the faith!

Feeling Like Timmy

Gosh, there were a million things I had thought to post about, all of which have sneaked out of my mind and blew away in the wind.

Okay, not all...on Saturday a few ladies from church and I went for a drive up to Grandfather Mountain. While there we stopped to see the bears. As we looking at these cute (yet probably ferocious) bears, I hear the lady next to me say to the bear, "Flower, are you hungry?" I said, "The bears name is Flower?" She said, "Yeah, I think so". So I turned to my friend (who I know has read some of our blog) and said, "The bears name is Flower". We were laughing about that when I heard one of the staff talking behind me to a group of people about the bears, using words like "orphan" and "adopted". We were like WHOA! It was pretty funny. Not sure what that was all about but I don't believe in coincidences so surely God is up to something, just wish I knew what LOL

As we left Grandfather Mountain, we passed lots and lots of beautiful green trees. However, off in the distance I could see we were coming up on a tree that had something incredibly vibrant red in it or on it. As we approached this beautiful red, surrounded by miles of green, we realized it was one branch of a large tree, whose leaves turned red, as they would in the fall. It was just fascinating and beautiful. I don't understand that stuff though, we are certainly in the heat of summer and all the branches are connected to the same trunk with the same roots, so why was this small branch different? Again, I felt like God was speaking to us but what?

Then Sunday morning, as I was driving to church, I saw so many beautiful, vibrant red birds. I should add here that birds make me think of the Holy Spirit. At our last home, I use to spend much time out on our back porch swing, in prayer and meditation. At different times I would see all kinds of birds I don't ordinarily see, like a woodpecker once and a hummingbird another time. Then there were times when little birds would get so close to me, like they didn't even know I was there and other times when I was deep in prayer and many birds would come and play all around me. It would make me think about how the Holy Spirit is always there, even when we can't "see" Him (or the birds), sometimes though if you listen carefully you can "hear" Him (or the birds).

Anyway, on the way to church, these red birds would swoop fast in front of my windshield. Another red bird sitting on the side of the road until we got close and flew away. It was just really weird but beautiful, I've never seen so many red birds. :)

Well, the vibrant red birds also reminded me of the vibrant red leaves, which also reminded me of our day and hearing about Flower the orphan bear that was adopted. I started to feel like little Timmy in Lassie, but my questions were for God, "What girl? What are you trying to tell me? Come on, girl, show me!" :)

I am hesitant to read to much into it, because surely I can convince myself that God is telling me something He is not. As another friend said, we need to learn to discern between our own voice, that of God and that of the enemy. I want to believe in someway that God is telling me things will still work out to adopt "Flower" but I really don't know if I believe that or not.

As we get closer to our travel date, it becomes harder. We are SO excited but thinking that I may very soon know for sure we will not be adopting "Flower" this time is really hard and painful. At least before traveling we can say there is still hope that we will be able to adopt her this time, but once we are there and they tell us know, THAT hope is gone.

I just continue to pray for God's will and our acceptance for His will. May He hold our hearts in the palm of His hand.


PS We received yet ANOTHER donation, this time from a dear friend's wonderful father. Thank you SOOOOO much! You have certainly blessed us!

For Allison Kline

My heart is so heavy right now, I am just so thrown by the overwhelming wave of emotions I am feeling right now.

On the right side of this page, under Other Things Close To My Heart, there is a link to To The Moon (Allison Kline). I found Allison's blog back in December when I was trying to find anyone else with the same kind of tumor (cancer) I was thought to have (Neuroendocrine). While our cancers were not exactly the same, Allison came the closest to having what I had (also Neuroendocrine cancer) but with greater severity. Allsion was diagnosed in 2005, I believe she was 25-26 yr old at that time.

Allison's blog was just so inspirational. Her love for our Lord was evident in every post. It seemed as though she made the best of each day, full of optimism and love.

A few nights ago I signed on to blog, after many visits finding no updates. There were some new posts for me to catch up on. When I was done reading my heart sank, I said to Dan, "Oh my gosh, she's dying". However, I didn't think she would really pass within days.

Tonight I have learned that Allison has left this world to be with our Father in Heaven. I'm in shock. I cannot explain the overwhelimg sadness and gried I have for a woman I never even met. Her husband's post today was just so sweet, also inspirational, just like Allison would have posted herself. I can't help but wonder if they had planned it this way.

Anyway, perhaps you would like to visit the blog and read about Allison. Isn't that awesome that even though she has left us we can still get to know her by reading her blog? You will be inspired.

Please lift her husband, Tom and her other family & friends in prayer during this difficult and painful time.

God bless you, Allison! You will be missed.

It Came Back!!!

Remember the package I mentioned several posts back, that the foster mom refused? The one with the baby doll and CD player for "Flower"? Can you believe it, it showed up on our front porch today! I guess we will stick it all in a gift bag and bring it to her when we travel IN JUST FOUR WEEKS. I suppose it can be her birthday present, since we will be there just a few weeks after her 12th birthday.

You didn't think I'd go all the way around the world and not stop by to give her the biggest hug ever, even if the SDA denies us her referral, did you? I am definitely going to see our girl.