9 Weeks and Counting Down!

I was hesitant to post anything because I want people to see the urgent need of prayers for Harrison. So I think I am just going to continue to post a prayer request and the link to his Caringbridge page at the beginning of each post. Please keep praying for his full recovery http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/harrisonlucas

Now adoption stuff. Yesterday we went down to Columbia to get our final 2 documents apostilled. One is a special request letter for "Hope's" referral and the other is a POA from Dan to me, so he can return home after court while I finish up the process. (Last time I left after court and Dan did NOT need a POA but we are taking one just in case it is not quite so easy this time).

I really am getting excited about finally meeting "Hope" and hopefully bringing her home. I really don't know what size she wears but I picked up a few little clothes for her, too cute! I just cannot resist. Today we were cleaning the house for friends to visit tonight and I started to feel the need to nest. I want to go through our closets and clean, clean, clean. Hopefully we will do that before we go.

I spoke with my friend "Wendy" (I will call her that now since she was Wendy in my dream LOL) about the latest phone conversation with the foster family. I asked her to call and follow-up, to see how "Flower" was doing and if the foster family had changed their minds about allowing us to be in contact with "Flower".

Well, still no contact. It makes no sense but they want us to wait 2 months. Dan thinks this is because they are hoping the Government will have given them their van and whatever else by then. ::::sigh::: When asked how "Flower" was doing, the way the foster mom replied spoke volumes., "Ehhhhh....she's okay" Hard to put it in a post but it's the "Ehhh" part that says it all. :(

They say they told "Flower" that the Government will not let us adopt her but they have not told us what they have told her to be the reason we are not calling. Also, we sent a package with a CD player and headphones & baby doll with accessories to "Flower" before they said no more contact. Well, now we have learned that they have refused the package and it did not get to "Flower". UGH! "Flower" specifically asked for those things and REALLY wanted them. It just breaks my heart.

The only good thing we see that may have come from the conversation is that the foster family now is aware that the Government is saying that THEY are the reason we cannot adopt as she, "happily resides" with them. It seemed that the family thought they would wash their hands of it and WE would work it all out. Now the ball is back in their court, THEY must do something or we will not be able to adopt her. THEY have to stand up for her or they will be the reason she cannot have the family she has been praying for. Wendy and I don't think the foster mom had a good nights sleep after that phone call. I hope she feels the weight of all of this on her shoulders and is motivated to do what she can to make this adoption happen.

So we just continue to pray that it will. Either way, I intend to be knocking on their door while I am there so I can see our little girl.

Okay, so 9 weeks left and still waiting for money to fall out of the sky! ;) It's frustrating that we budget money to save (in addition to what we are already saving in another account) and things keep coming up. Grrrr...God has a plan though, right? Just trusting in Him and praying He will work it all out.

Urgent Prayers For Harrison

UPDATE: (25 JUNE 2008) Please continue to pray for Harrison and his family. My dear friend, Colleen, has created a Caringbridge webpage to keep us updated on Harrison's condition. Please go see how you can pray specifically for their needs and subscribe (free) to receive an email notice each time she posts an update.

I am including the link here but have also added it to my list of links on the far right of this blog page under "Other Stuff Close To My Heart" in case you do not bookmark the page and want to occasionally get there from here in the future.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/harrisonlucas

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I know I am the queen of prayer requests, but you can forget about everything else I ever asked you to pray for if you just pray for this need right now, my heart is just so sick for my good friend and her family.

My friend Colleen called me from Children's Hospital this evening; her 14 yr old son, Harrison was hit by a car this afternoon that was going about 40 miles per hour. The situation is VERY bad. He has broken legs, broken bones in his face, he is on a ventilator and they were drilling a hole in his skull to relieve the pressure. They cannot know what will happen from here, he will get worse before he gets better and the first 72 hours are the most critical.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE pray for Harrison and the Staats family. Please ask others you know who will pray to please pray. I can't imagine ever having to walk through anything worse than something like this with your child.

Pretty Cool!

I had a dream last night that we got some unexpected refund checks from somwhere due to overpayment and that this is one way God was providing for our adoption. I remember on of the amounts in the dream being $545 or something like that.

Well, we learned today that we have been paying insurance on the house that we moved out of in late November and will be getting $440 refunded to us! How cool is that!!

You should also know that I have had 2 dreams lately about adopting a little BOY! I have no idea what this is all about but I just remember feeling an overwhelming sense of love for this kid.

Not sure about the boy thing but thank you God for speaking to me through a dream about the refund thing, I SO needed to hear from you right now.

I've Instilled Wisdom In Her LOL

Okay, maybe it wasn't me but still, it makes for a nice blog entry title LOL

Yana made me a card today and it reads (I edited some of the spelling and puncutation on here so it does not appear to be written in code LOL):

To Mommy

I love you forever. You love me too, right? I hope so. Lord will bless us with what we need, ok, so don't worry about adoption. God will work it out and ["Flower"] will be fine.

From,
Yana

I love you forever

And...we're on an up swing!

So last night I was reading my Bible, kind of just flipping through really, and spotted some personal notes and highlighting in Exodus. I decided to leave my Bible open to these two pages for a while, so I will read it often. Here is some of what was highlighted with notes:

Exodus 14:13-14
13...don't be afraid. Just stand still and watch the LORD rescue you today...
14 The LORD himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.

MY NOTES: "Trust when the LORD leads"

Exodus 14:31
31 When the people of Israel saw the mighty power that the LORD had unleashed against the Egyptians, they were filled with awe before him. They put their faith in the LORD ...

MY NOTES: "Without this trial, there would have been missed oppurtunity to come to know the LORD greater & increasing their faith as they began to recognize, truly, His awesome power."

The LORD didn't part the sea 11 weeks before they got to it, He did when they got there. There were trials but ONLY for His glory and their benefit.

I realize that adopting "Flower" might not be His will, I get that more than you can imagine. You just have to understand the many prayers He answered and the many doors HE opened that we did not go looking for after our adoption crashed last year. It hurt when that happened but we accepted it. For those who have been with us, seeing God's hand in this (even from the beginning or from the 2nd beginning) find it hard to believe it is not His will. Of course, we can't put God in a box, we really won't know until we get there. But most people agree that this is about faith and that's makes the struggle even greater because I can't seem to get my mind around, "It's just not His will". If this is about faith that He will take care of this, then I would be mistaken to come to the point now where I say it is not His will, we truly won't know until we are in Ukraine, which makes it more difficult because, how do we greive a loss we don't know that we have lost yet? How do we not live the next few months in denial, but keep faith that He could still work this out?

The problem is, I am putting my hope in the situation not my hope in Him alone. I know this. So I will continue to pray for His help in this area.

Anyway, I feel better today. I am excited about "Hope" (whether it turns out to be the little girl we know of with CP or another child we have yet to learn about) and am excited about bringing home our child(ren).

And our appointment is...

in early September.

I should be happy, jumping up and down but instead I feel terribly sick to my stomach.

The stupid letter from the SDA also states that "["Flower] cannot be adopted by a foreign family as she happily resides with a Ukrainian family that has priority over foreign families." Lovely, right? Ugh!

I know nothing has changed but it just seems so official and it stinks!

Okay, well we have 2.5 months to come up with $12,000. Anyone see any reason for me to feel ill about all of this? Boy, God really is working on increasing my faith, huh? I swore I would never ask Him to do that again since last time I faced cancer but I prayed myself through that fear and worked up the courage to start praying for my faith to be increased again. I MUST be crazy!!

Only A Matter Of Time

We often say, when it comes to Ukraine (particularly about adoptions), give it a day, a week or a month, everything will change. Well, brace yourselves, the time may soon be here again.

http://www.mw.ua/1000/1550/63185/

Of course we cannot predict how things will change or how much, for better or worse but it would be more surprising if nothing changed.

Let's pray that the results of any change is positive for the Ukrainian people but most importantly, the orphaned children who are said to be "non-people" with no voice.

P.S. I will fall out of my chair if a new male Director replaces the current SDA Director because of that dream I had (May 13th post). The current Director already called the local Administration office about our case, while not to help us, it still happened and we would have never have guessed it would actually happen. Come on God, let us see your glory in this situation!! Keeping my hope in Him.

God's Battle Not Mine

There's not much to report, other than we cannot fight this. In short, we realize that the foster family HAS to be the ones to stand up for this adoption as they are the legal parents of "Flower" right now, in the eyes of the UA Government. If they do not, there is not argument to bring to the SDA for the referral. For all we know the SDA will say that they would have given us the referral but the foster family would not agree to the adoption (which would truthfully be due to the accusations and pressure put on them) and therefore they are not legally doing anything wrong by denying us her referral.

I seriously considered flying out there next week and begging (and crying my heart out) to the foster family but then decided not to. I think if they feel too much pressure from each side, they will do whatever it takes to get out of that situation and that could mean calling the SDA and causing problems for us, you just never know. When "Flower" is 14 she will have a voice in court (that will be 2 years from this summer). If miracles do not happen in the next few months, then we will look to this possibility to then stand and fight. Right now we need to remember that God can still do anything, although things are LOOKING really bad in the way of adopting "Flower" this journey. We also need to get ourselves together and focus on a plan to calm the foster family so that we will be allowed to remain in contact and especially find out what "Flower" is being told about us not calling anymore. :(

I continue to pray for guidance but I feel like God has been silent, it is VERY frustrating. I get that sometimes these things are not His will and He has another plan but TELL ME SOMETHING! I have asked God over and over about His will in this and BEGGED Him that if it would not work out for us to adopt her that He would end it "now" (this was last summer). I prayed something like, "If this is your will, just let her be registered". Sure enough, days later we received notice that she was registered. Then is was "Okay, that's cool but if it is your will God, let the foster family we open to communication". Sure enough, He came through. "Okay that's cool but if it is REALLY your will let us be able to host her for Christmas". And sure enough, she came. So, I am asking for His lead in this and not trying to force things to happen on my own. Remember, I did not think we had a submission spot but I prayed with all faith that He would come through and once again He did. So the fact that He has been silent this past week or so leaves me feeling like I am a fish out of water, I NEED Him.


Well, last night I decided before I went to bed that I would open my Bible just real quick, because we were so tired (emotionally drained, really). I just hoped that I would read something that would speak to me. I opened it up right to Psalm 5. Praise the Lord! I am praying this was a God-incidence and was God giving me a prayer to cling to, and so I am.



Psalm 5


1 O LORD, hear me as I pray;
pay attention to my groaning.
2 Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God,
for I pray to no one but you.
3 Listen to my voice in the morning, LORD.
Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly.

4 O God, you take no pleasure in wickedness;
you cannot tolerate the sins of the wicked.
5 Therefore, the proud may not stand in your presence,
for you hate all who do evil.
6 You will destroy those who tell lies.
The LORD detests murderers and deceivers.

7 Because of your unfailing love, I can enter your house;
I will worship at your Temple with deepest awe.
8 Lead me in the right path, O LORD,
or my enemies will conquer me.
Make your way plain for me to follow.

9 My enemies cannot speak a truthful word.
Their deepest desire is to destroy others.
Their talk is foul, like the stench from an open grave.
Their tongues are filled with flattery.*
10 O God, declare them guilty.
Let them be caught in their own traps.
Drive them away because of their many sins,
for they have rebelled against you.

11 But let all who take refuge in you rejoice;
let them sing joyful praises forever.
Spread your protection over them,
that all who love your name may be filled with joy.
12 For you bless the godly, O LORD;
you surround them with your shield of love

Not Good!

The foster family heard there was a lot of emphasis on the accepting gifts in exchange for a child. Of course this is absurd! One of the letters submitted with our dossier, from the foster family to us does thank us for the gifts we sent back with "Flower" when we hosted her. They were CHRISTMAS PRESENTS! Things like sweaters fpom stinkin' KMart!!!!

We have been asked by the foster family to stop all communication. We are no longer allowed to call, send letters, packages, NOTHING! We have no idea what "Flower" is being told but my heart aches for her.

I don't want this to all turn bad on the foster family but the truth is, we cannot just walk away. "Flower" has the right to a family. This country wants to be a part of the Hague Convention AND deny a child a right to a family. Don't think this will end quietly.

Not sure what to do next. First we need the SDA to give us approval for her refferal. Then we need the foster family to agree. Now we have 2 obstacles instead of just one. Maybe I need to fly out there and meet with a lawyer to find out about "Flowers" rights??? I need wisdom and I am calling on our Holy Father for it. Please stand in prayer with me.