There's not much to report, other than we cannot fight this. In short, we realize that the foster family HAS to be the ones to stand up for this adoption as they are the legal parents of "Flower" right now, in the eyes of the UA Government. If they do not, there is not argument to bring to the SDA for the referral. For all we know the SDA will say that they would have given us the referral but the foster family would not agree to the adoption (which would truthfully be due to the accusations and pressure put on them) and therefore they are not legally doing anything wrong by denying us her referral.
I seriously considered flying out there next week and begging (and crying my heart out) to the foster family but then decided not to. I think if they feel too much pressure from each side, they will do whatever it takes to get out of that situation and that could mean calling the SDA and causing problems for us, you just never know. When "Flower" is 14 she will have a voice in court (that will be 2 years from this summer). If miracles do not happen in the next few months, then we will look to this possibility to then stand and fight. Right now we need to remember that God can still do anything, although things are LOOKING really bad in the way of adopting "Flower" this journey. We also need to get ourselves together and focus on a plan to calm the foster family so that we will be allowed to remain in contact and especially find out what "Flower" is being told about us not calling anymore. :(
I continue to pray for guidance but I feel like God has been silent, it is VERY frustrating. I get that sometimes these things are not His will and He has another plan but TELL ME SOMETHING! I have asked God over and over about His will in this and BEGGED Him that if it would not work out for us to adopt her that He would end it "now" (this was last summer). I prayed something like, "If this is your will, just let her be registered". Sure enough, days later we received notice that she was registered. Then is was "Okay, that's cool but if it is your will God, let the foster family we open to communication". Sure enough, He came through. "Okay that's cool but if it is REALLY your will let us be able to host her for Christmas". And sure enough, she came. So, I am asking for His lead in this and not trying to force things to happen on my own. Remember, I did not think we had a submission spot but I prayed with all faith that He would come through and once again He did. So the fact that He has been silent this past week or so leaves me feeling like I am a fish out of water, I NEED Him.
Well, last night I decided before I went to bed that I would open my Bible just real quick, because we were so tired (emotionally drained, really). I just hoped that I would read something that would speak to me. I opened it up right to Psalm 5. Praise the Lord! I am praying this was a God-incidence and was God giving me a prayer to cling to, and so I am.
1 O LORD, hear me as I pray;
pay attention to my groaning.
2 Listen to my cry for help, my King and my God,
for I pray to no one but you.
3 Listen to my voice in the morning, LORD.
Each morning I bring my requests to you and wait expectantly.
4 O God, you take no pleasure in wickedness;
you cannot tolerate the sins of the wicked.
5 Therefore, the proud may not stand in your presence,
for you hate all who do evil.
6 You will destroy those who tell lies.
The LORD detests murderers and deceivers.
7 Because of your unfailing love, I can enter your house;
I will worship at your Temple with deepest awe.
8 Lead me in the right path, O LORD,
or my enemies will conquer me.
Make your way plain for me to follow.
9 My enemies cannot speak a truthful word.
Their deepest desire is to destroy others.
Their talk is foul, like the stench from an open grave.
Their tongues are filled with flattery.*
10 O God, declare them guilty.
Let them be caught in their own traps.
Drive them away because of their many sins,
for they have rebelled against you.
11 But let all who take refuge in you rejoice;
let them sing joyful praises forever.
Spread your protection over them,
that all who love your name may be filled with joy.
12 For you bless the godly, O LORD;
you surround them with your shield of love