So last night I was reading my Bible, kind of just flipping through really, and spotted some personal notes and highlighting in Exodus. I decided to leave my Bible open to these two pages for a while, so I will read it often. Here is some of what was highlighted with notes:
Exodus 14:13-14
13...don't be afraid. Just stand still and watch the LORD rescue you today...
14 The LORD himself will fight for you. Just stay calm.
MY NOTES: "Trust when the LORD leads"
Exodus 14:31
31 When the people of Israel saw the mighty power that the LORD had unleashed against the Egyptians, they were filled with awe before him. They put their faith in the LORD ...
MY NOTES: "Without this trial, there would have been missed oppurtunity to come to know the LORD greater & increasing their faith as they began to recognize, truly, His awesome power."
The LORD didn't part the sea 11 weeks before they got to it, He did when they got there. There were trials but ONLY for His glory and their benefit.
I realize that adopting "Flower" might not be His will, I get that more than you can imagine. You just have to understand the many prayers He answered and the many doors HE opened that we did not go looking for after our adoption crashed last year. It hurt when that happened but we accepted it. For those who have been with us, seeing God's hand in this (even from the beginning or from the 2nd beginning) find it hard to believe it is not His will. Of course, we can't put God in a box, we really won't know until we get there. But most people agree that this is about faith and that's makes the struggle even greater because I can't seem to get my mind around, "It's just not His will". If this is about faith that He will take care of this, then I would be mistaken to come to the point now where I say it is not His will, we truly won't know until we are in Ukraine, which makes it more difficult because, how do we greive a loss we don't know that we have lost yet? How do we not live the next few months in denial, but keep faith that He could still work this out?
The problem is, I am putting my hope in the situation not my hope in Him alone. I know this. So I will continue to pray for His help in this area.
Anyway, I feel better today. I am excited about "Hope" (whether it turns out to be the little girl we know of with CP or another child we have yet to learn about) and am excited about bringing home our child(ren).
I am so glad you are not giving in!! I say continue to pray for Flower and in the end, if God has another plan, He will ease you into it. Call me nuts, but I say keep your thoughts on Flower until the Lord has made it very clear He has other plans. Based on what you have said, I don't think He has told you it is not going to happen. Now I do believe evil is trying to work against you and wanting you to give up. Keep fighting dear, the battle belongs to the Lord...
ReplyDeleteI agree with what Tony & Dawn posted. I've been meaning to post this also. Many times when things would go against us or even just seemed to, it made me that much more determined that we were supposed to go through with our adoption. We must be doing God's will or things would not be so difficult.
ReplyDeleteWe had troubles from our home study on. Then, not only did we have the issues I mentioned with our host child, we were somewhat discouraged in pursuing our daughter's adoption. I knew that she was worth it. (And she is:) I knew that God put it in our hearts to adopt her also. Even though she ended up being the only one. We just have to be open, which is very, very difficult. But it looks like you are getting there:)
I remember those days, knowing God had lead us to Ukraine for a reason, but holding on to a glimmer that some how our little man would come home with us. How could he not? God had opened so many doors for us. Someone posted in a blog a I read during my low moments that one child lead them to Ukraine...to find their forever child. That is what our little man did for us. We will continue to pray for your stength, knowing and trusting in HIM!
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